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  1. #1
    hopelessMD is offline Senior Member 510 points
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    leaving bfs/gfs kids behind..

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    I am currently with my gf and I am having hard time right now with trying to let her go. She keeps saying long distance is no problem blah blah blah but I know it would be extremely hard for someone in california to be in ld relationship with someone in Dominica. Anyway, what are your thoughts on this issue? Should I just break up with her cause it would be really hard to do long distance and concentrate on school or it will not be a big distraction?

  2. #2
    phillypd is offline Member 510 points
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    Well, many people are in your same situation.......I myself is very married and plan to leave for the May 09 class in a carib school, I am coming alone. To be honest with you, if someone wants to cheat or do something else they are going to do it regardless....you staying or leaving isn't going to stop that. Now, I would say go to school.....if she cant hack the distance or if she finds it hard to deal with....so be it. There is no need to break up with her now....play it out and see how it goes...
    Either she will be a support system or a distraction.....if the ladder is true than break it off.
    I learned one thing in this whole carib med school process. And that is that you should not let someone else determine how your life should go...do whats best for you....because in the end it's your life and you'll be more miserable in the end if you base your life decision on how someone else feels............


    Good luck.......and make the best out of the situation and push forward
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  3. #3
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    CopDoc is offline Ultimate Member 693 points
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    Well, you are not alone in your dilemma. I am leaving for Carib med school in Sep 09 and will be leaving my husband and two children here in the US. It is not an easy thing to do. I struggle with this daily. I am sorry to say that my husband could always be be replaced if he decided to cheat, but leaving my 2 sons behind is so incredibly difficult. I agree that if someone wants to cheat, they will do it no matter where you are. You need to have confidence in your relationship and do what is right for you. Significant others can come and go. The truly good ones will wait for you and honor your committment. I don't worry about my husband cheating, I just know I will be sad thinking of all the things I will miss in my kid's life while I am gone. So, we talk about my leaving and have equiped the computers with webcams and each son will have a cell with my number in it. I figure this way they know I am only a call away if they need me. I need to pursue my dream and my family supports me. SOmetimes you just need to do what is right for you and the people who care about you should support you.

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    cavalletti is offline Elite Member 510 points
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    Quote Originally Posted by hopelessMD View Post
    I am currently with my gf and I am having hard time right now with trying to let her go. She keeps saying long distance is no problem blah blah blah but I know it would be extremely hard for someone in california to be in ld relationship with someone in Dominica. Anyway, what are your thoughts on this issue? Should I just break up with her cause it would be really hard to do long distance and concentrate on school or it will not be a big distraction?
    As you stated, a ld relationship is a challenge. If you aren't certain that she's the one, I would break it off. If she is the person you want to spend your life with, believe her when she says that she is willing to try.

    Signed, Dr. Phil
    Last edited by cavalletti; 01-12-2009 at 11:52 AM.

  5. #5
    hopelessMD is offline Senior Member 510 points
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    I seem to have harder time with leaving my 3 year old daughter that is VERY attached to me then my gf. Going to Medschool soo far away is one of the hardest decisions in my life right now. Sometimes I wish I was single without any obligations and can just leave.

  6. #6
    cavalletti is offline Elite Member 510 points
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    Quote Originally Posted by hopelessMD View Post
    I seem to have harder time with leaving my 3 year old daughter that is VERY attached to me then my gf. Going to Medschool soo far away is one of the hardest decisions in my life right now. Sometimes I wish I was single without any obligations and can just leave.
    It's tough to leave your kids behind. The web cam is a great idea to stay in touch. Tough spot to be in.

    All the best.

  7. #7
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    rockjock2010 is offline Member 510 points
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    Left my GF home, was real hard, but if it is worth fighting for then it's worth it.
    Were married now (as of this last June) Worth all of the hassle.
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  8. #8
    importspeed is offline Newbie 510 points
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    I'd say stay in the relationship only if you can see yourself marrying her in the future. You don't want any distractions on the island because every second counts.
    You don't want to deal with drama a week before mini. On the other hand, I have many friends in long distance relationships for more than a year and their bonds seem stronger. So, it's doable but you have to make sure she/he is worth it.

  9. #9
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    DEQNY85 is offline Elite Member
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    drop her like its hot....

    My gf stayed behind when I came down here for 1st and she is still with me now that I'm in 4th.....just expect the nasty attitudes here and there but at the end of the day it pays off.
    Last edited by DEQNY85; 01-12-2009 at 04:26 PM.
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  10. #10
    rossmdhopeful is offline Permanently Banned 510 points
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    i suggest you keep her on stand by so that you have something to do () when you go home for the breaks or if you can't find something better. if you find something better... kick her to the curb.
    win win situation

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