Sponsored Links
Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 37
  1. #1
    hopelessMD is offline Senior Member 510 points
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    718
    Downloads
    2
    Uploads
    0
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    leaving bfs/gfs kids behind..

    I am currently with my gf and I am having hard time right now with trying to let her go. She keeps saying long distance is no problem blah blah blah but I know it would be extremely hard for someone in california to be in ld relationship with someone in Dominica. Anyway, what are your thoughts on this issue? Should I just break up with her cause it would be really hard to do long distance and concentrate on school or it will not be a big distraction?

  2. #21
    AxlFoley is offline Member 510 points
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    199
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Advertisements



    Quote Originally Posted by Gator98MD View Post
    The infedility I witnessed on that island was epic. I guess the old saying goes when the cats away the mice will play. Well there were alot of mice playing on that island. Very sad. Some of the people down there just have no scruples.

    ya, i totally agree. bf/gf, couples, even those with kids back home....whatever, there was a lot of that going on when i was on the island. totally messed up. kind of hard to respect your fellow future colleagues with that kind of behavior...

    On the brighter side though, I knew a few(unfortunately, very few), that actually did value their relationship, and/or marriage, and still together. which is of course good news

  3. #22
    Aggiemd2b's Avatar
    Aggiemd2b is offline Senior Member 510 points
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    516
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by hopelessMD View Post
    I seem to have harder time with leaving my 3 year old daughter that is VERY attached to me then my gf. Going to Medschool soo far away is one of the hardest decisions in my life right now. Sometimes I wish I was single without any obligations and can just leave.

    I can't believe you are seriously going to be able to leave a 3 year old behind! I tried to do it and coulden't I told myself all the same things I bet you are saying to yourself about it's not that long, I'll visit, we will use skype, this is my career blah blah blah. What I ended up doing is telling Ross I was not coming and decided to bust it here in the states and go to a US school. Good luck with your decision, it won't be easy.

  4. #23
    AngryBaby's Avatar
    AngryBaby is offline Elite Member 539 points
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    3,645
    Downloads
    13
    Uploads
    0
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by CopDoc View Post
    Well, you are not alone in your dilemma. I am leaving for Carib med school in Sep 09 and will be leaving my husband and two children here in the US. It is not an easy thing to do. I struggle with this daily. I am sorry to say that my husband could always be be replaced if he decided to cheat, but leaving my 2 sons behind is so incredibly difficult. I agree that if someone wants to cheat, they will do it no matter where you are. You need to have confidence in your relationship and do what is right for you. Significant others can come and go. The truly good ones will wait for you and honor your committment. I don't worry about my husband cheating, I just know I will be sad thinking of all the things I will miss in my kid's life while I am gone. So, we talk about my leaving and have equiped the computers with webcams and each son will have a cell with my number in it. I figure this way they know I am only a call away if they need me. I need to pursue my dream and my family supports me. SOmetimes you just need to do what is right for you and the people who care about you should support you.
    When my wife and son were back home last term we each used webcams and Skype pretty much all day when I wasn't at lecture. The calls are free if it's Skype-to-Skype, even video calls, so I'd get home and at some point one of us would call the other up and we'd just leave the webcams on while I studied. This way she or my 4 yr old son could come in and talk to me or show me something and it wasn't a problem.

    There were a few dropped calls and my webcam acted up a bit but it worked out pretty well for 4 months.
    I finally have my long white coat, and it is stinky...

  5. #24
    medic300107's Avatar
    medic300107 is offline Supermedic Moderator 10497 points
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Somewhere, USA
    Posts
    6,308
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    imagine what it would have been like before computers and webcams' much more difficult

  6. #25
    mlz0406 is offline Junior Member 510 points
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    57
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    My husband and I are trying to figure out what is going to be best for us. He is still in school and after doing some research today, we found out that his degree can be completed online from Dominica. It seems like it will be cheaper in some ways and more expensive in others. Instead of paying rent/utilities at two places we would only have to pay one..we wouldn't have the cost of plane tickets to visit eachother...however, he would be quitting his job which pays for him to go to school meaning not only will he have no income, but he will also have to take out loans to continue going to school..

    I am looking for some insight from people who had their spouse come to the island...how has it worked out for you...

    If you left your spouse in the states, do you feel that you made the right decision?

    It seems like one day we are 100% set on moving together and then the next day we are 100% sure that it's best for him to stay here with his job...

    man, this is tough!

    Thanks for your help

  7. #26
    Disco is offline Junior Member 510 points
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    26
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Bringing family to the island

    I'd just like to encourage incoming students/spouses to explore all their options before feeling that they have no choice but to leave spouses and young children at home. There is actually a VERY helpful and active community of spouses/families on the island, as well as a very adequate elementary school with daycare/preschool options. The first resource to check is the RSO website (google "Ross Spouses Organization"). Email RSO and they will be glad to connect you with a family on the island who can help you find adequate housing, talk to families with children of the same age group, meet you at the airport etc.
    Also, because there are many spouses on the island who don't have jobs and pursue a variety of volunteer activities, you will be able to find a very caring, competent spouse to nanny for your children at a price MUCH cheaper than in the States.
    I am a spouse of an incoming student and have gotten SO much help from the spouses/significant others currently on the island. I was initially dreading the island experience/leaving my job/culture shock, but after getting to know some of the spouses on the island and hearing about their lives, I am really looking forward to it now.
    Check out some of the spouses' blogs that are linked to the RSO website to see what their daily life is like.

  8. #27
    ydobon's Avatar
    ydobon is offline Member 515 points
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    239
    Downloads
    21
    Uploads
    0
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Failure

    I brought a girl I thought I would marry. A girl I thought I loved.
    She made three semesters on the rock. Then she left to go back to Reno. I went there and found out that she'd been unfaithful to me. So, I dropped her.

    A short while later, a cute honest decent woman shows up- just like from central casting. It was magical.

    Yes, the island can be hell. It can also be heaven. Stick with it and join the elites called "DOCTOR."
    So get on with it!
    What does not happen today, will not be done tomorrow, and you should not let a day slip by.
    Let resolution grasp what's possible and seize it boldly by the hair; it will not get away and it labors on, because it must.

    - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Faust I, Zeilen 224-230

    Hidden Content

  9. #28
    AlmostThere is offline Newbie 510 points
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    16
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    I wasn't going to post on this, but couldn't help it.

    This is honestly not a question that should be posed on a public forum, the decision is yours. No one on here knows your relationship and what each of you are willing to give and take to make it succeed. If the love and commitment aren't there, then you can't force it. On the other hand, if it is there then you can't deny it.

    People make long distance relationships work all of the time. I left for the island in August 2006, my husband (Active Army) deployed for Iraq in October 2006. Prior to this I had seen him for 3 months since April 2005 when he joined the Army. I saw him for 5 days when he came down to the island before he deployed and again for 15 days in April 2007 when he had his mid tour leave. I saw him for 14 days in December 2007 for Christmas. We continued the long distance relationship even through Miami and I didn't see him again until the end of April 2008. In three years (April 05 - April 08) I saw my husband for a grand total of 4 months and 19 days. While he was deployed we IM'ed, emailed, and very rarely were able to webcam/Skype.

    For us, the distance was miserable but we learned to make the time we had count. We cherished each day that we were given and didn't sweat the small stuff. If you are going to make it work, communicating and learning to have patience with each other. Medical school isn't fun and is incredibly stressful, but being able to be there for your spouse/gf/bf when they have a bad day or need to vent is important too. You are not the only one struggling with being alone/leaving some one behind.

  10. #29
    physics junkie is offline Member 510 points
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    283
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    My daughter's second birthday party today back home . Just two more months until I see her again.

  11. #30
    mlz0406 is offline Junior Member 510 points
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    57
    Downloads
    0
    Uploads
    0
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Quote Originally Posted by AlmostThere View Post
    I wasn't going to post on this, but couldn't help it.

    This is honestly not a question that should be posed on a public forum, the decision is yours. No one on here knows your relationship and what each of you are willing to give and take to make it succeed. If the love and commitment aren't there, then you can't force it. On the other hand, if it is there then you can't deny it.

    People make long distance relationships work all of the time. I left for the island in August 2006, my husband (Active Army) deployed for Iraq in October 2006. Prior to this I had seen him for 3 months since April 2005 when he joined the Army. I saw him for 5 days when he came down to the island before he deployed and again for 15 days in April 2007 when he had his mid tour leave. I saw him for 14 days in December 2007 for Christmas. We continued the long distance relationship even through Miami and I didn't see him again until the end of April 2008. In three years (April 05 - April 08) I saw my husband for a grand total of 4 months and 19 days. While he was deployed we IM'ed, emailed, and very rarely were able to webcam/Skype.

    For us, the distance was miserable but we learned to make the time we had count. We cherished each day that we were given and didn't sweat the small stuff. If you are going to make it work, communicating and learning to have patience with each other. Medical school isn't fun and is incredibly stressful, but being able to be there for your spouse/gf/bf when they have a bad day or need to vent is important too. You are not the only one struggling with being alone/leaving some one behind.
    Obviously each relationship is different...obviously medical school isn't fun and is stressful..and obviously I am not the only one leaving someone behind...

    I don't know why you couldn't resist posting..there was nothing informative in your response.

    I was simply looking for those who have juggled this same decision to give me some tidbits of info on how they made their final decision as to move together or do long distance.

Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Leaving the island sale...perfect for new arrivals or those leaving the dorms...
    By canuckdoc in forum AUC Medical School Classifieds
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 04-01-2009, 08:01 AM
  2. Do you know where your kids are?
    By bookite in forum The Relaxing Lounge
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 03-21-2008, 02:54 PM
  3. My Kids
    By OlderStudent in forum American University of the Caribbean (AUC)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 12-04-2006, 08:13 PM
  4. Kids?
    By dani-b in forum Medical University of the Americas (MUA) Nevis
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 11-27-2004, 08:30 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •