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Thread: Match Lessons From Italian Designer Valentino

  1. #1
    themadmike is offline Junior Member
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    How to match tips From Valentino

    The Italian designer Valentino was once asked "what do women want?" Valentino turned to the questionnaire and smiled and said "Its simple. They want to be beautiful."

    I'm sure more than half the men in the world would not know how to answer this question. Its a question that some have tried to explain in books and books across the centuries...lol Its surprising the answers that you learn about when asked the right question. I think we should all take moments of our lives to answer some of life's "simple" questions.

    If someone was to ask you today "what do you want?" what would your response be? Being that this is a blog mostly read by inspiring doctors and those struggling to match, it might not be surprising if you answered "I want to be a doctor, I want to get residency" But I think the question can go a bit deeper than that. I think deep down inside what we all want is to be happy-It is possibly the single reason as to why you are doing what you are doing. Studying and trying to be a doctor and trying to get residency is your goal and it is what you feel will make you happy. Even though I would partially agree with this, I would say that happiness goes beyond residency, and goes beyond wanting to be a doctor. I think true happiness and long lasting happiness goes beyond what you dedicate your life too. I was reading a book called life lessons by Elizabeth Ross, and in that book she talks about the single most important desire of those that are in their final hours of life. And the thing they most cling to. The thing they most want and appreciate is Love. AT the end of it all. At the end of our working days and at the end of retirement. When you look back at your life, and you look back to see what was really important in life, it was the relationships you formed with others. It was the special bonds you had. It was the special moments you spent with the persons you loved most in this world. Certain moments in life are defined by the people you choose to spend your life with.

    You might feel that you have failed in your quest called life. You have struggled year after year trying to get residency only to have your hopes and dreams crushed by a single email from eras stating "You did not match." 4 or 5 words that have changed your life in more ways than one. Even now while you read this you are somewhere in a hospital doing an observationship, or your in a university or office trying to do clinical work or doing research. you have spent countless hours on forums trying to learn about what more you can do to better your situation. THe countless questions from family members that mean well, but do not simply understand what you are going through. Friends and family members that don't see your broken heart. They don't see the countless hours you have spent crying at the thought of your future. But I'm here to tell you that the purpose in life is bigger than what we sometimes imagine it to be. Maybe happiness can be found in the simpler things that surround you. Although what you do in life is important, it doesn't define who you are as a person. The meaning of life is more deeper that you think. What is truly important and special in life is closer than you have ever imagined. The more hours I have spent in my residency (almost 100 hours a week) the more I long to go home and spent time with the person I love the most in this world-my wife. I'm not the only one that feels this way (residents in my program all enjoy their time out of the hospital).

    The more time you are around death and people that die, the more you understand how fragile and short life could be. And although you want to help others and make a difference in the lives of those around you, you also need to find special time for you to always get the most out of life. Continue to work around for the things you want out of life, but don't forget the most important thing-love. It is what can bring happiness to your life. Its is what many of us our truly searching for. Love can give happiness and it helps you to bear the struggles of life. You will find strength to carry the burdens of this life in the people that surround you. It is found in the time you spend with your loved ones. It is found with the time you spend with your friends. Don't let the true meaning of life pass you by.

    But what if you are alone in this world? What if you are someone that doesn't have a family or someone that has been rejected by others and you feel abandoned by someone you once loved. What if you are someone that is "alone". Maybe your someone that searches through their cell phones, and looks through the list of friends without having someone you can truly talk to. No one that can understand you. I would tell you that your not alone my friend.

    The heart and pain you feel in your heart. The hours spent in darkness. The hours you have spent in hopelessness. And the feelings that no one understands you. All of these emotions has maybe let you to believe that you can't take it anymore. The struggle to match and ge residency is too much to bear. Your heart is broken. You have no one to go to. I would tell you that there is someone you can go to. In fact, only someone that could see inside your heart. Only someone that can see your thoughts and see your emotions can truly understand what you are going through. In fact it would have to be a person with supernatural abilities and almighty powerful to be able to do that. And I believe that person is God. God can help you in your pain. Life can be a trauma sometimes, and it can be unbearable at times. But don't lose hope. God can help you. He can give you the strength you need to deal with the burdens of life. With the struggles that make u cry.

    A story is told of a boy a couple of years back that decided that he wanted to have a puppy. he started to have a paper route in his community so that he can save enough money to purchase a puppy. One day on his way to the paper route. He found a sign in front of a farm that read "Puppies for sale $25" The boy was ecstatic and went to the farmer to inquire about the puppies. As the boy spooke to the farmer, the farmer turned around and whistled the puppies to come out. The boy lay on the ground and was greeted by three small cute puppies that played and licked his face. As a few minutes pass the boy noticed that there was one more puppy walking out of the barn The puppy was very fragile and limping. He could barely walk. The boy asked the farmer "who is that?" To which the farmer responded "that is the run of the litter. Today I'm going to take him to the back of the yarn and shoot him. he is a burden to every one. Can barely walk. he would have to be carried every where he goes. He is useless." TO which the boy enthusiastically said "I want the puppy!" The farmer said "that one? you sure? nobody wants that one." The boy at this point stood up and walked towards the farmer. He was limping. HE got closed to the farmer and lifted up his pants on his bad leg to chow wooden stints he had. He had been diagnosed with polio as a child and was handicapped. The boy turned to the farmer and said "He is gonna need someone that understands. And I understand."

    My friend God understands you. Jesus loves you. God loves you. God can help you bear with life. He can heal your heart. Search for God and he will find you. he will not abandon you. You can dial God anytime and anywhere by deep and honest prayer. Talk to God as if you were talking to a friend. In the darkness of your room where ever you are. In the middle of a class room in your mind. In the middle of the day. where ever you are reading this. take a moment to pray to GOd and talk to him as a friend. Open you heart. Ask him to help you bear with these tough timse. Ask him to Help you see the goodness life has to offer. Your troubles might not go away, but God can help you to bear them. The difficulties and Bad things that happen to us have no explanations sometimes. Countless time people try to blame God for all that happens in this world. The bad things that have happened to you should not have happened. And their is no explanation sometimes of why they happened. Life is unfair sometimes. God never promised that we would not have problems, but what he has promised IS Help. HE has promised to give you his peace. You are not alone. You don't have to walk life alone. You are loved. You are wanted. Don't give up. GOd is a friend. Yours. God can bring light in your darkness. You don't have to tread life alone and in fear. God will guide you through the storms. God will cry with you. He will not abandon you.

    Good luck in these years match. Keep doing everything you can. What you do in life Doesn't define you. The people that surround you in life is what defines your life. True meaning in life is found in loving God and loving those around you. When you need strength and meaning in life remember these two things.

    God bless

    Dr.Mike

    Thank You God For Residency
    Last edited by themadmike; 11-08-2009 at 09:30 PM. Reason: too long
    cshah and Swamifez like this.

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    themadmike is offline Junior Member
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    Tips for Interviews

    I decided to share my experiences in interviews to help those that are going to the interviews now. I went throught the match 3 times and interviewed a lot of places. And I wanted to share some tips that I think will be usefull to you when you go to your interviews.

    1. Know the hospital You apply to!!
    A lot of times you will recieve interviews to programs that you really don't know anything about. You are simply so happy to get the interview that you rarely even took time to figure out any iformation abotu it. This can present with a problem for you because when you go to the interview the program direct you will ask you what it is you like about the program, and you want to be able to look like you want to be there and that you are motivated to be there. SPend the night before reading on the website about the hospital, you might find questions you have about the program, and ask them when youa re 1 to 1 in the interview, and it shows that you are interested in them. The prorgrams will pick up on your level of interest. If you are interested in the program, then you will ask questions about it. Ask about its reserach opportunities and its didactic programs. Just show them, that you at least know where you are interviewing!! I can't tell you how many times I got stuck in the interviews, when the person interviewing me asked me if I had questioons about the program, it was almost a strange silence.

    2. Know the Person your interviewing !!

    this is easier said than done. I rememeber asking the FAMily practice director that was interviewing me if he was a cardiologis? lol... It was a stupid question, but it cam out of my mouth after I saw him giving a talk to one of the residents about an ekg. Geesh, was I stupid to ask him that. I didn't get the position obviously, but I saw the look on his face. he was in disbelief. A lot of these individuals have pictures in the website. Learn them memorize them. Don't do what I did!!

    3.Base your interview on the personality of the person interviewing you

    BAsically what this means is that, if you are interviewing a person you suspect is serious, then you be serious. If its a person you suspect is very go lucky joy joy, then loosen down a little bit. But not too down. If they want to talk sports, talk sports !! Let them lead the interview. Don't go over board either. Be professional, but adapt to the person. Don't be fake either. Just relate to the person. be yourself. and if you screw up the interview don;t worry, you will have others and in time you will get better. Interview yoru friends or strangers. Practice with other people. Good luck.

    4. Find out wether they willa sk you questions? medical.

    There are websites out there that tell you what time of interviews each program has. you will find it on forums. You don't have to study for them, but keep it in mind so if they do ask questions, you are at least 'prepared" for it. Take an educated guess and try to reason it. and if you get it wrong don;t worry. Your not expected to know everything. Its just a process. They know your grades, and they know more or less yoru academic background. Don't worry too much.

    5. Dress appropriate.

    Men wear suits and females also. I remember when I saw this one female come to an interview in her pajamas!! I couldn't believe it. It was pretty shocking. Dress to impress. Nothing to flashy. Serious clothe for serious times.

    6. Be on time!

    GO there a day earlier if you have to. Don't take a chance on something happening to you. a lot of programs will provide hotel if you ask them.

    7. Be yourself

    Most important. Be yourself. Don't try to be somoene you are not. YOu can tell a fake person a mile away. They have been doing this for years. Practice with yoru friends and family.

    8. If you don't know good english what do you do?

    PRACTICE PRACTICE with your friends with mock interviews, and talk slowly. When you speak slower you are able to understand a lot more.


    9. Buy a book on interviews and visit websites with tips!!1

    You be surprised how much you learn from reading these things. ANd lot of them are free!!!! google.. residency interview tips !!

    10.MOst important!

    PRay and have faith in yourself. YOu are being led towards yoru destiny. GOD is with you. Get up early in the morning. Kneel down on your bded, and pray to GOD to give you patience and clamness. He will provide and help you. The program is interested in you. Just be yourself, and have a good time. THey want to just get to know you in a short time. Don't try to be fake. be yourself. Lean on GOd when you feel overwhelmed.


    GOOD LUCK !!!!

    DR.MIKE

  3. #12
    uncertainMD is offline Newbie 510 points
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    thanks for the tips! I like it when you said lean on God when you feel overwhelmed, very true.

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    SPODAT is offline Senior Member 520 points
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    Appreciate it. Thanks Mike.

    Your work and thought and heart here is very much appreciated.

    God bless and guide you as you move forward.

    Chris

  5. #14
    themadmike is offline Junior Member
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    Someone once said that if you treat a man as he is, he stays as he is. But if you inspire someone; if you believe in them; if you see more than they see; if you treat him how he ought to be; then he becomes what he ought to be. I hope that in the coming match and coming year I can pass to you what was given to me. We can only give what we have received in life. And what I can give you is words of hope. Words of belief, and words that were once told to me. When you look back in life you will never forget the individuals that inspired you and that have made you believe that you can be so much more in life. I can only tell you friend to don't give up on your dreams. Life may seem unfair and unjust at this point in your life, but don't give up. There are people that believe in you. I believe in you. God believes in you. The final chapter of your life has not been written yet. Sometimes your heart hurts. It is unfair and makes no sense, but just remember you are not alone in your struggle. Many people in these forums and I understand what you are going through.

    Throughout your walk and journey towards residency or towards the next chapter of your life. Don't forget what really matters in life. Sometimes the greatest things you need in life are right next to you. They are found in the people that surround you and love. They are found in the smile of your children. It is found in the warm embrace of the person you love the most in this world, be it whom it may be.

    You are not alone. Don't give up.Keep your head up. I felt that I had to say that to someone reading this at this moment. Perhaps you needed a pause in your life and reflection. Perhaps circumstances causes you to look again at your life and question where you are or ought to be. SOmetimes in life you get everything you want but not what you NEED.

    Spending months and months surrounded by people sick and dying has only made me appreciate the smaller things in life. Has made me love my wife more and more each day.

    Take time today to spend time with the person you love the most.Call them. Email them. Send them a message. Tell them thank you for their patience. Tell them how much you appreciate them. Life is so fast and short. Don't let the struggle to residency and match take time from spending with the people you love. Sometimes in life you will find strength to keep moving in life by the people that surround you.

    Although life is filled with difficulty and heart ache, it is also filled with special people and special moments. It is these moments that give you strength when you can no longer walk or run....

    If by any chance you are someone that is far away from home, stuck in a part of the united stated living by yourself and feeling alone right now, I'm here to tell you that you are not alone. There is someone that sees your tears and weary heart. I believe that person is God, and through his son jesus Can give you the strength to carry on with your life.

    Don't give up. You can do it. When all is says and done at the end of the day ask yourself only one question "Did I do everything in my power? Did I try with all my heart and soul?" If you answer yes to this, then you have already a winner in life. What you want in life and in accomplishing a task is to give it all your heart and soul, and whatever happens be as it may. If it is written for you to be a doctor or a plumber, just know that you have not failed in life. Failing is not trying. Let God and destiny take you where it may....

    There is a country song called "the weary kind" (found at this end of this message) In the chorus of the song there is a part that says "pick up your crazy heart and give it one more time..." Perhaps this year I pray that you could pick up your heart, and you give the match or residency one more try. But this time around you give it all. And "let the cards fall" where it may.

    Measure your success not by the materials that you possess, but by the people that surround you, and by the moments you have spend life in love...

    God be with you friend... Jesus Loves you....Keep your head up.....best of Wishes..
    I believe in you...jesus believes in you.... if you need a friend you can talk to him like one...he is only phone call away through honest and sincere prayer....

    God Bless.

    Dr.Mike (pgy2) 78,79 in steps and matched......
    Thank You God For Residency

    YouTube- Ryan Bingham - The Weary Kind (Theme From Crazy Heart)

  6. #15
    citizenimg's Avatar
    citizenimg is offline Senior Member 662 points
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    Thanks Mike, always appreciate your posts.
    PGY 2
    Step 1 - pass - 4th attempt Step 2 - pass - 1st attempt CS - pass - 2nd attempt,
    Step 3 - pass - 1st attempt
    MATCHED 2010. Psychiatry


  7. #16
    SPODAT's Avatar
    SPODAT is offline Senior Member 520 points
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    Mike,
    Very cool, very encouraging, and even on days when you didn't do your best, Jesus still loves you. . That's a good thing.

    Hope your residency is going well.

  8. #17
    themadmike is offline Junior Member
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    residency is good....almost over in 12 months....

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    cshah is offline Newbie 510 points
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    thanx for sharing a bit of positivity...that's what we need more of...a positive outlook. ive also tried last 2 years of securing a residency...but to no avail...and am trying again this year...support from friends, family and constant flow of positive thoughts is what kept me going...impossible is nothing!

    As is said beautifully in the Bhagavad Geeta: Efforts NEVER go in vain..do not despair

    and i like your signature quote about how God gave me everything I needed, a quote by Swami Vivekanand.

    B+...It's not just my blood type!

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    stledmonds15 is offline Newbie 510 points
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    excellent thanks

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    Sawank is offline Junior Member 511 points
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    Hello.

    I read each and every word of this beautiful message and I must say you just need to trust on GOD and you will find he always with you on every step.

    Thank you.

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