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Thread: Crossroad and Depression.. Need Advice!

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    RedRaider_01's Avatar
    RedRaider_01 is offline Member 510 points
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    Crossroad and Depression.. Need Help!

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    Hey all, (this is long so I apologize in advance)

    As some of y'all know I have posted my abysmal scores a few times on here to gauge my chances at medical school. I'm currently at this major fork in the road in my life. I graduated back in December with my BA in History. Since then I have had no had in luck in finding employment so I've been living at home. I've determined that an MA is history will not help me with what I want to achieve in life. I've been discussing with my parents about going back to Tech and getting a second bachelor's degree. Right now I've been discussing Engineering with them because I love science and it's kind of applied science. It's a good practical degree with many job opportunities, however I cannot get excited about it... and I suck at calculus lol. My dilemma is that I frequently visit this site and read all of these forums and I get sad. I miss my premed days! I cannot hear the words "medical student," or "physician," or even "anatomical terminology" without getting depressed. I don't know what to do, and I definitely know that my parents are getting sick of me always going back to "I want to be a doctor." I'm really depressed tonight, like borderline tearing up because I feel like the dream of becoming a doctor is pretty much dead or at least on life support. I know people say if you want it bad enough you'll find a way to make it happen, but I just don't think that will happen. My AMCAS gpa is a 2.7 and my sci gpa is a 2.5, AACOMAS gpa is a 2.85 and my sci gpa is a 3.05, no MCAT yet, not to mention the 12 w's. I also have not finished the pre reqs. How the heck am I supposed to persuade an adcom to take a chance on me when there are so many qualified applicants? I've thought about finishing my pre reqs this year and taking my MCAT next summer, but I don't even know if it's worth the money if I going to be in the exact same position that I'm in now. I've also considered doing an SMP after the MCAT, but I do not have that kind of money to spend... I feel like the dream is dead and it is tearing me up on this inside. Screwing around in undergrad is the worst decision that I've ever made in my life . Has anyone suffered through this type of torment? Sorry for the lengthy rant, but I have no one left to turn to other than the good folks on ValueMD. I want to be a doctor so freaking bad! I'm the son of an RN and the grandson of a physician, medicine is all that I'm interested in, literally there are no other fields out there that peak my interest like medicine... I don't what to do... I need a time machine... I have to make a choice to either to go back to school or abandon medicine forever.
    Last edited by RedRaider_01; 04-26-2011 at 06:50 AM.
    "He's dead Jim" - Dr. Leonard McCoy

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    Macgyver1MD's Avatar
    Macgyver1MD is offline Senior Member 535 points
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    Is never to late to do what you dream. There are students who go to medical school later in life, you can too. What you need to do PROVE you can handle medical school. This means start studying for the MCAT and do really well on it. Really well. That would show you can buckle down and seriously take medicine a possibility. Then you need to show you can excel in undergrad classes. The past is the past, start over and take your pre reqs and really put your effort into it. You can ace those classes if you try.

    I look back at what amount of studying I could have did in undergrad and aced my classes easily. I then compare that to the amount I had to do for med school and laugh. I could have spent 1/4 as much time in undergrad studying and aced my undergrad easliy.

    If you want to impress an admission committee, PROVE IT. Show them u can ace your pre reqs and MCAT and that u learned your lesson from your previous undergrad grades and habits.

    It may not be in the next semester when u can apply, but take it step by step. If your serious show can benpatient and preserver.
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    slevit1MD's Avatar
    slevit1MD is offline Ultimate Member 665 points
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    It's going to be a difficult year or so for you, but your dream is certainly not dead. My first year of college, I failed nearly everything and had a 1.4 GPA going into second year. I wound up dropping out shortly after since I thought I was too far behind and it would just be too much work to catch back up and have good enough grades for med school. I decided to be a paramedic, and that's what I did for 3 years. Then, I finally decided it was time to go back to school and spent the next 3.5 years re-taking a few classes, doing well in the rest of my classes, and getting my degree. I was not happy about the process and I knew it was going to be a very long road before I'd be a doctor, but I just buckled down, spent the time, and did it. I wound up with about a 3.4 GPA from the school, but an AMCAS GPA of 2.9 due to how they calculate GPA and a 27 MCAT. Not good enough for US MD, but good enough for any of the carib schools or DO.

    I vividly remember begin a paramedic, taking patients to the hospital, and just wishing that I could be a 3rd year med student, more or less a resident, but thinking it was so far away that it was nearly impossible to imagine. After a lot of time and effort, I made it through, I'm a doctor, and I'll be starting residency in June. The time really does fly by and it was absolutely worth it.

    If this is what you want to do, then do it. You have made things harder on yourself, but you have definitely not made anything impossible. Go back to college, finish up requirements (and if you did poorly in science classes, re-take them), get at least high 20's on the MCAT, and you'll get into AUC. You're not the only person who isn't going to do things the easiest way possible, and you won't be the last.
    Last edited by slevit1MD; 04-26-2011 at 11:06 AM.
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    Dr. Fatalis's Avatar
    Dr. Fatalis is offline Senior Member 687 points
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    overall, you gotta ask yourself "how bad do you want it?" I am writing my MCAT this friday and I can tell you, studying for this test was no easy task and there were several instances where I felt like quitting, but in the end you gotta stick through something for the greater good. No one is going to fix your problem but you. If you don't like your situation, change it.
    MD [Hidden Content '], SGU'16, PGY1[Hidden Content ], PGY2[ ]
    -“When the past is always with you, it may as well be present; and if it is present, it will be future as well.”

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    AphtaLyfe is offline Senior Member 520 points
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    Quote Originally Posted by Macgyver1MD View Post
    If you want to impress an admission committee, PROVE IT. Show them u can ace your pre reqs and MCAT and that u learned your lesson from your previous undergrad grades and habits.
    This.

    You are probably 1-2 semesters short of completing your prereqs I would guess? Finish up those prereqs, take the MCAT and then see if your dream is still feasible.

    If you do poorly on the prereqs even giving your 100% and/or do poorly on the MCAT giving your 100% then perhaps you should consider an alternate dream.
    PGY-1

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    Glokta is offline Member 515 points
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    Also, read up carefully on how to study for and take the MCAT, especially if you didn't hit at least the 90th percentile in your SATs. I recommend EK, the Berkley review (both relatively inexpensive used), and ALL the AAMC practice tests done under timed protometric center - like conditions.

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    nnylacire is offline Newbie 510 points
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    Quote Originally Posted by RedRaider_01 View Post
    ...I've thought about finishing my pre reqs this year and taking my MCAT next summer, but I don't even know if it's worth the money if I going to be in the exact same position that I'm in now...
    I can totally relate to what you're saying because in a lot of ways I'm in the exact same spot. This particular part of your quote really struck me. I think we've both got to remember that all we can do is try. Sure there's a chance that you can do everything you outlined above and still end up not getting accepted. Same goes for me! The thing is though that if you don't allow yourself to try...if you make the decision to quit now so that you don't have to face potential rejection...then you've short changed yourself and will probably always wonder "what if?"

    I've gotten myself caught in a perpetual cycle of always trying to better my application and all it's done is kill time. At some point we have to realize that it is what it is, and take a chance on applying. Easier said than done, I know! I wish I had some magical words of advice but being in the thick of it myself all I can offer is that you shouldn't make assumptions of what an adcom is going to do or say...apply and let them make the determination themselves. Also, don't be afraid to take a step back, take a deep breath, and take a break from all of the pre-med madness for a little while. I certainly wish I would have done that rather than constantly pounding my head against the wall. Know when it's time to take a break and re-group. Sometimes it's needed.

    Good luck to you!

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