Thread: funnies

Sexual Harassment
A man walks up to a woman in his office each day,
stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of
air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer,
and goes to Human Resources. Without identifying
the guy, she tells them what the co-worker does, and
that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against him.
The HR supervisor is puzzled by this approach, and
asks, "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker
telling you your hair smells nice?
The woman replies, "It's Keith......the midget"
hahhahaha funny huh?? heres another!
Speeding Ticket


An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to
see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls
for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer
slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps
out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and
murdered the owner.


Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite
stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to
the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a
license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the
owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

come on, admit it, it at LEAST put a smile on ur face!!

I like those!! I had heard the second one before, but it still makes me laugh.

Especially the second one. That one was Funny.... Brilliant but funny.

Thanks for the laugh