The Italian designer Valentino was once asked "what do women want?" Valentino turned to the questionnaire and smiled and said "Its simple. They want to be beautiful."
I'm sure more than half the men in the world would not know how to answer this question. Its a question that some have tried to explain in books and books across the centuries...lol Its surprising the answers that you learn about when asked the right question. I think we should all take moments of our lives to answer some of life's "simple" questions.
If someone was to ask you today "what do you want?" what would your response be? Being that this is a blog mostly read by inspiring doctors and those struggling to match, it might not be surprising if you answered "I want to be a doctor, I want to get residency" But I think the question can go a bit deeper than that. I think deep down inside what we all want is to be happy-It is possibly the single reason as to why you are doing what you are doing. Studying and trying to be a doctor and trying to get residency is your goal and it is what you feel will make you happy. Even though I would partially agree with this, I would say that happiness goes beyond residency, and goes beyond wanting to be a doctor. I think true happiness and long lasting happiness goes beyond what you dedicate your life too. I was reading a book called life lessons by Elizabeth Ross, and in that book she talks about the single most important desire of those that are in their final hours of life. And the thing they most cling to. The thing they most want and appreciate is Love. AT the end of it all. At the end of our working days and at the end of retirement. When you look back at your life, and you look back to see what was really important in life, it was the relationships you formed with others. It was the special bonds you had. It was the special moments you spent with the persons you loved most in this world. Certain moments in life are defined by the people you choose to spend your life with.
You might feel that you have failed in your quest called life. You have struggled year after year trying to get residency only to have your hopes and dreams crushed by a single email from eras stating "You did not match." 4 or 5 words that have changed your life in more ways than one. Even now while you read this you are somewhere in a hospital doing an observationship, or your in a university or office trying to do clinical work or doing research. you have spent countless hours on forums trying to learn about what more you can do to better your situation. THe countless questions from family members that mean well, but do not simply understand what you are going through. Friends and family members that don't see your broken heart. They don't see the countless hours you have spent crying at the thought of your future. But I'm here to tell you that the purpose in life is bigger than what we sometimes imagine it to be. Maybe happiness can be found in the simpler things that surround you. Although what you do in life is important, it doesn't define who you are as a person. The meaning of life is more deeper that you think. What is truly important and special in life is closer than you have ever imagined. The more hours I have spent in my residency (almost 100 hours a week) the more I long to go home and spent time with the person I love the most in this world-my wife. I'm not the only one that feels this way (residents in my program all enjoy their time out of the hospital).
The more time you are around death and people that die, the more you understand how fragile and short life could be. And although you want to help others and make a difference in the lives of those around you, you also need to find special time for you to always get the most out of life. Continue to work around for the things you want out of life, but don't forget the most important thing-love. It is what can bring happiness to your life. Its is what many of us our truly searching for. Love can give happiness and it helps you to bear the struggles of life. You will find strength to carry the burdens of this life in the people that surround you. It is found in the time you spend with your loved ones. It is found with the time you spend with your friends. Don't let the true meaning of life pass you by.
But what if you are alone in this world? What if you are someone that doesn't have a family or someone that has been rejected by others and you feel abandoned by someone you once loved. What if you are someone that is "alone". Maybe your someone that searches through their cell phones, and looks through the list of friends without having someone you can truly talk to. No one that can understand you. I would tell you that your not alone my friend.
The heart and pain you feel in your heart. The hours spent in darkness. The hours you have spent in hopelessness. And the feelings that no one understands you. All of these emotions has maybe let you to believe that you can't take it anymore. The struggle to match and ge residency is too much to bear. Your heart is broken. You have no one to go to. I would tell you that there is someone you can go to. In fact, only someone that could see inside your heart. Only someone that can see your thoughts and see your emotions can truly understand what you are going through. In fact it would have to be a person with supernatural abilities and almighty powerful to be able to do that. And I believe that person is God. God can help you in your pain. Life can be a trauma sometimes, and it can be unbearable at times. But don't lose hope. God can help you. He can give you the strength you need to deal with the burdens of life. With the struggles that make u cry.
A story is told of a boy a couple of years back that decided that he wanted to have a puppy. he started to have a paper route in his community so that he can save enough money to purchase a puppy. One day on his way to the paper route. He found a sign in front of a farm that read "Puppies for sale $25" The boy was ecstatic and went to the farmer to inquire about the puppies. As the boy spooke to the farmer, the farmer turned around and whistled the puppies to come out. The boy lay on the ground and was greeted by three small cute puppies that played and licked his face. As a few minutes pass the boy noticed that there was one more puppy walking out of the barn The puppy was very fragile and limping. He could barely walk. The boy asked the farmer "who is that?" To which the farmer responded "that is the run of the litter. Today I'm going to take him to the back of the yarn and shoot him. he is a burden to every one. Can barely walk. he would have to be carried every where he goes. He is useless." TO which the boy enthusiastically said "I want the puppy!" The farmer said "that one? you sure? nobody wants that one." The boy at this point stood up and walked towards the farmer. He was limping. HE got closed to the farmer and lifted up his pants on his bad leg to chow wooden stints he had. He had been diagnosed with polio as a child and was handicapped. The boy turned to the farmer and said "He is gonna need someone that understands. And I understand."
My friend God understands you. Jesus loves you. God loves you. God can help you bear with life. He can heal your heart. Search for God and he will find you. he will not abandon you. You can dial God anytime and anywhere by deep and honest prayer. Talk to God as if you were talking to a friend. In the darkness of your room where ever you are. In the middle of a class room in your mind. In the middle of the day. where ever you are reading this. take a moment to pray to GOd and talk to him as a friend. Open you heart. Ask him to help you bear with these tough timse. Ask him to Help you see the goodness life has to offer. Your troubles might not go away, but God can help you to bear them. The difficulties and Bad things that happen to us have no explanations sometimes. Countless time people try to blame God for all that happens in this world. The bad things that have happened to you should not have happened. And their is no explanation sometimes of why they happened. Life is unfair sometimes. God never promised that we would not have problems, but what he has promised IS Help. HE has promised to give you his peace. You are not alone. You don't have to walk life alone. You are loved. You are wanted. Don't give up. GOd is a friend. Yours. God can bring light in your darkness. You don't have to tread life alone and in fear. God will guide you through the storms. God will cry with you. He will not abandon you.
Good luck in these years match. Keep doing everything you can. What you do in life Doesn't define you. The people that surround you in life is what defines your life. True meaning in life is found in loving God and loving those around you. When you need strength and meaning in life remember these two things.
Great post with some good insight about matching to residency. I recently wrote a blog post about this with some more pointers from someone who is currently going through the process. Check it out at imgexperienceblog.wordpress.com