Thread: Ah, could this be heaven?

My wife and kids are on vacation with her family. I have a 4 day weekend. What could be better? Just me and the dog. I have a stack of movies I have been wanting to watch. Got the lawn mowed, and steam cleaned all the carpets. (my kids are filthy). Nobody here to change to news to SpongeBob, nobody to complain I'm leaving my dishes in the sink. Nobody is going to come into my room in the morning to wake me up if I want to sleep in. I won't talk to another human being until tuesday. I'm not leaving the house. This is great......

Going to walk around the house naked?

Originally Posted by stateofequilibrium

Going to walk around the house naked?

Why, you got a web cam or something?

I walk around naked when the kids are here, so doesn't matter. In fact, everyone in my house walks around naked. If you ever come visit, you'll have to get naked, too. No, on second thought, you can keep your clothes.

I have a quarter bottle of good scotch, and I also remembered that I have a Cuban cigar (no I don't that would be illegal). I'm gonna go sit out on the porch naked, have a drink, smoke my cigar and follow ValueMD on my laptop. G

Hmmm, all I have to say is while you're getting drunk and pass out, be sure not to have your wife wonder why there's a big "DELL" sign burnt onto your manhood.

Originally Posted by stateofequilibrium

Hmmm, all I have to say is while you're getting drunk and pass out, be sure not to have your wife wonder why there's a big "DELL" sign burnt onto your manhood.

hehe. I'm just gonna have a nice glass of scotch. Not gonna ruin my dream weekend with a hangover. The DELL would be hard to read through all the tattoos. G

The ones your wife got for you after you guys got married that say, "VERBOTEN!" "FORBIDDEN!" "HANDS OFF!" "MINE!" "BACK OFF" "YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE I'VE BEEN!"

I am not kidding my wife once video taped me, running around in the house with my underwear only.. After comming back from a trip.

I got drunk one night in SXM and got a tat on my slong that said: Hello my name is YODA and welcome to the lovely island of St. Maartin. but most of the time you only see "Hein"

Later
YODA

Originally Posted by YODA

I got drunk one night in SXM and got a tat on my slong that said: Hello my name is YODA and welcome to the lovely island of St. Maartin. but most of the time you only see "Hein"

Later
YODA

What was this? The first instance of using nano-technology for tattoos?

But I got y'all beat. I went to sleep in the hospital one day and found a biohazard tattooed on it and a stack of waivers and notifications I have to mail out to my loved ones.

Originally Posted by teratos

My wife and kids are on vacation with her family. I have a 4 day weekend. What could be better? Just me and the dog. I have a stack of movies I have been wanting to watch. Got the lawn mowed, and steam cleaned all the carpets. (my kids are filthy). Nobody here to change to news to SpongeBob, nobody to complain I'm leaving my dishes in the sink. Nobody is going to come into my room in the morning to wake me up if I want to sleep in. I won't talk to another human being until tuesday. I'm not leaving the house. This is great......

sounds like a country song...


Artist/Band: Cledus T. Judd
Lyrics for Song: It's A Great Day To Be A Guy
Lyrics for Album: Cledus Envy

Parody of "It's A Great Day To Be Alive" by Travis Tritt (Darrell Scott)
New lyrics by Cledus T. Judd/Chris "P. Cream" Clark/Rich homosexualan/DarinGardner

I got my socks dryin in the microwave
Hair on my back I don't plan to shave
I got the house to myself while the wife's away
I'll be rockin all night
Yeah I think I'll drink me an ice cold brew
Lounge in my boxers like I used to do
There'll be no Ally McBeal on the tube
No...I'll be watchin the fight

Well it's a great day to be a guy
Playin cards my buddies until sunrise
You know I never thought that my neighbor would
Be sunbathing topless Lord she sure looks good

I caught a ten pound bass out on the lake
Played 18 holes with my best friend Jake
Best balls I hit was when I stepped on a rake
(FORE)
(oh God)
Oh it wuddn't too bright
(Gee whiz)
Now I look in the fridge what do I see?
Last night's pizza starin back at me
Pepperoni and anchovies
What a beautiful sight

Well it's a great day to be a guy
Buck naked in my lawn chair swattin at flies
Got some hot dogs on the charcoal grill
Don't want to burn my wieners but I probably will

That fried baloney
And cheese macaroni
Tasted good this afternoon
But now I'm passin
Some serious gas an
I might have to leave the room

P UUUUUUUUUUUUU

Well I might go get me a new hairdo
Spend a couple hours at a tanning booth
Might even get me a gold front tooth

(muffled as if a patient in a dentist chair)
Oh yeah yeah

And it's a great day to be a guy
But when my wife gets home she's gonna tan my hide
I'll be hung over but a-lookin good
From a week of reliving my bachelorhood

It's a great day to be a guy
But another week of this and I'll probably die
I
Tend to party harder than I should
When my wifes not here to make me be good

Yay whooo