Sometimes situational changes will help lift a depression, this is true. But sometimes its more endogenous. In this case especially, I think its important to get help for the very reason you mention; it takes a life of its own, you can't get out of the hole, you can change your mood by altering the situation. We thankfully live in a time where therapies and medicines can truely lift even a lifelong depression. When you hear people say "i finally feel like myself for hte first time in my life" that's quite a powerful statement.

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Steph
If you get a warning, put on yer manpants and stop whining about it.

Sounds like a lot of you may be experiencing the emotional effects of culture shock. I'm not in any way being sarcastic, I sincerely would like to help.
I just finished my final in IC communication and the topic was culture shock (symptoms, causes, remedies, etc).
It is brought on by entering a host culture that is significantly different from what you're used to. It can happen moving from state to state, big city to small town, highschool life to college life and more commonly when moving into another country.
Before things like anxiety and depression set in, most people experience a short period called the "honeymoon" stage and feelings of excitement and interest usually prevail against doubts and certain inconveniences.
After a few days, weeks or even months, the initial excitement and "newness" wears off and reality comes crashing down. Enter the "Everything's Awful" phase.
During this phase a number of things can happen (all of them unpleasant).
Physically, a person in this phase may experience sleeplessness, headaches, loss of appetite and digestive problems.
Psychologically, a person may feel alienated or that they are the only person (if in a "home" group) that is feeling this way. Feelings of paranoia are common and this often leads to mistrust of people in the host culture.
Emotionally, depression to some degree is pretty much universal but unwarranted anger/hostility can also be experienced.
People respond to these symptoms in a variety of ways.
1.) Ethnocentrically - Some people will start to resent everything about the host culture (including it's people) and will begin to act as if they are a superior person in an inferior culture. This is marked by a refusal to get to know locals personally and the refusal to "come down to their level" by participating in any of their cultural activities (parties, social gatherings, parades, etc).
2.) Filtering Reality- A more common response is to filter reality. Some people do this by denying differences that are apparent to everyone else. Basically, repeatedly saying how similar everything is to your home culture or trying to ignore the differences and "just make the best of it". The problem with this is that the differences do exist and filtering their existence won't make the negative effects of culture shock go away.
Other people constantly glorify their home culture and tend to see their home culture through rose colored glasses. It is common for people with this response to shy away from anything different from what they are used to. Some try to create a "mini home culture" and completely isolate themselves from any unneccessary interaction between themselves and the host culture's inhabitants.
3.) Flexing - Flexing is another way people respond to culture shock and it is the only reponse (according to Dr. Dodd) that leads a person out of the "Everything is Awful" phase and into the "Rebuilding" ( also known as the everything's OK phase) phase. The flex response is typified by an attitude of understanding, openmindedness and a willingness to try new things. Rather than shy away from the different or the unknown, a person who is flexing will tackle it head on and attempt to make the unfamiliar into the familiar, the unknown into the known, etc, etc.
Dodd's list of things to do to help bring a person in the "Everything's Awful" phase into the "Rebuilding" phase includes the following -
1.) Write in a diary. Before writing any new entries, look back on old entries and reflect on your progress of adjusting.
2.) Learn the language. This even applies if the host culture speaks the same verbal language. Observe posture, gestures, etc, etc, as they often have different meanings from culture to culture. This will almost always engender feelings of goodwill and appreciation from the host culture as they see your earnest attempts to learn.
3.) Make a point to do things that are unavailable to you at home. Shouldn't be too hard to do in another country!
4.) Make friends! This an absolute must. Humans are social creatures and isolation is unhealthy. Dodd suggests meeting others that are from the same (or similar) culture as you and then adjusting and making friends (from the host culture) together. A sort of Intercultural Networking activity if you will.
5.) Do the above over and over and over again. Some people snap out of culture shock pretty quick, while others may be wallowing in utterly depressed and anxious misery for months. Hang in there and seek professional help if you can't seem to break out of the perpetual blues.

Sorry for the extremely long post. The topic just happened to catch me at the same time as my paper on culture shock
Hope someone can pick a useful nugget out of it.


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Did I say that out loud?

it is scary. But honestly I dont think being in med school will make this better. Now believe me. if I am wrong I am thrilled. But I think what youre describing needs some cognative behavioral therapy. Someone to evaluate how you may have a distorted self-image and help find ways to correct this. its a very effective method. The thing is stress- which is abundant in med school- usually precipitates depression to those prone. please please please seek some professional help for this. Dont waste your youth or run the risk of making it worse by going down to start school before addressing this and running the risk of exaserbating things; that can bring struggles academically which snowball the bad image. And its not that you are stupid or worthless, but you're -as you say- depressed; the disease will effect your performance and it becomes a cycle. Go get help now- this can be fixed. so when you go to school you can thrive and enjoy it and the rest of a rewarding life!

__________________
Steph
If you get a warning, put on yer manpants and stop whining about it.