I often see a lot of talk about the "dream" of being a doctor. While "the dream" may be a true calling I would like to give another perspective.

I am leaving medicine. I did well in medical school. Passed all three steps on the first attempt (249, 231, 210). I also completed a year of internship with good evaluations. So, no sour grapes; however, one year of residency is enough.

The first two years of med school were a memorization-fest. It was broad and shallow -- but I enjoy science so it came fairly easy. Third and Fourth years were annoying but not too bad; however, I began to wonder whether medicine was for me. I found that I really disliked the ward environment: you have no desk, no personal space and no control over your time. I found medicine to be a lot of short term "firefighting" were you spend 10 minutes on a problem, leave, go to next problem, leave etc. Some people like that style of problem solving; however, I like problems that take some long term thought (months rather than minutes) and I like more control over my time. I have decided that any job that deals with the general public and requires you to use a pager is probably a bad one. I also like problems that demand my creative input -- to do something no one has done before. In my view, medicine is high level assembly line work. Fortunately, I have better options.

Interestingly, I am much like ****** Konner who wrote the book,
Becoming a Physician (ISBN-13: 978-0140111163). I was also a professor before I went to med school and, like Konner, I also decided to go back to my original line of work (but Konner left before residency). I guess I have learned that the grass is not always greener on the other side. Indeed, I am happy to go back to were I was.

There are those for whom medicine is a true calling but I have come to realize that I am not one of those. For me, the sacrifices of residency are simply not worth it. I would caution those in mid-career who are contemplating medical school to think very carefully. It is not necessarily a bad decision but be very, very sure. You have much more to lose than those who are in their twenties -- and much less to gain. I figure my degree cost my over a million in lost income. I don't have any regrets about going to medical school but I also have the financial resources to do absorb this. Even so, I spent a lot of time memorizing trivia that I could have spent on other pursuits.

Interestingly, although I don't really like "patient interactions" on the ward, I found that this was a strong point. I am really a "people person" (I won several teacher of the year awards as a professor); however, I found the "relationships" in medicine unsatisfying. I could calm the anxious, get those who were about to check themselves out against medical advice to wait a day, persuade needlefobes to let me have 6 tries on their crappy veins, etc. I have to say, I am pretty good with patients; however, I also have to say that medicine does not really provide meaningful interactions. They can be quite important (e.g., a diagnosis of cancer), but they are soon over and one with. In general, I found these "interactions" much less satisfying than the long-term relationships I had with students and consulting clients. In medicine, I generally felt that it did not matter if I showed up to work or not --someone else would do the job. In my old line of work, I contributed something unique -- I did things no one else would have done. It is time to step off the assembly line.

Overall, I think medicine can be a good choice;however, for me, it turned out not to be. However, I advise people to think hard about the decision to go to medical school -- particularly if you are an older student.

From my volunteer time in a hospital, I know you can be right- at times, especially for resident students, there's a lot of rush to cover as much ground as possible.
While my days volunteering can somedays be stressful, I feel good working in a dynamic environment that has a positive effect on both myself and those around me. It still feels pretty good to be in healthcare.

I suppose the MD won't be a total waste, right Brenda? Since you are going back to teaching, it could only help boost your salary a bit, I suppose. Even though you never completed a residency, you are still allowed to "use," the MD after your name in all 50 states, correct?

Glad you found out what was wrong and right for you; better than continuing with medicine for another few years and being unhappy still.

Ehh, to be fair, I don't think even the most stressful volunteer positions come close to what a resident is put through on a daily basis.

I agree that the dynamic aspect is appealing to some. There is always something to be done.

I admit I do have moments where I ask whether it was all a waste but the answer is generally no -- I don't feel it was a waste. First of all, I answered an important personal question that had been bugging me for years and it is nice to have an answer. Second, my medical experience opened up a whole new area of research for me that combines my former discipline and medicine. So, there have been some gains -- although at a pretty steep price. While I suppose I am entitled to use the title Dr, I already had that title. We all have our status buttons. For me, I feel prouder when to be called prof than doc. The good thing, is that I can be flexible in this regard...

to each his/her own but from everything i have ever talked about with practicing docs-residency is not 'medicine'..it is where you learn what and how to do things but it doesn't have to dictate how or what you do the rest of your life. this is also why it is so impoprtant to know what residency to pick...sounds like you were in internal medicine and if you don't have the attitude for it then it can be extremely depressing i mean you tune up the pts, d/c them and they are back 2 weeks latewr with the same problem...sounds like you may have just picked the wrong field..obviously you wanted to go all the way through med school so certain things you must have liked....you may have been happier in a research oriented or more 'thinking' specialty like medical genetics


good luck

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OBGYN PGY III
Finally a chief...scary isn't it?

There is a strong negative correlation with excellent students and their happiness in medicine. This is not a field that is satisfying for very bright people but I am sorry that you did not get good advice before you started. You probably should not have started, wasted so much time, and gone through the experience that you did. I found a coach on some website and he was really helpful. I think the address was Med-Line . May be this can help. May be not. Just some suggestions.

You added a whole new set of dynamics into your life. Something to talk about to your kids and grandkids in the future. Experience earned a life to live.

Good luck Brenda

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Formerly known as 'Genossa maximillian'

"Sacrifice turns to revenge and believe me
You'll see the face who'll say:I love you... I'll kill you...But I'll love you forever ..."If I die tomorrow, what will you tell me today?."