To give a little background, I spent 3 years at a uni in NY with a 2.7 GPA. I became unhappy there and decided to transfer to a new school in the hopes that a better reputed university, and a different environment would allow me to "start over" both academically and socially.
It was the worst decision I made in my life. I came here and this past year I ended up failing 5 classes and put on academic probation. I felt even more lonely and isolated and I made some very poor decisions that resulted in this situation I am in now.
Either way, this semester I can only take 9 credits, which means that I will have to spend yet another year doing undergrad. I will only graduate when Im 23 an age when most people have careers or grad school, but not me. A thought that itself brings me to my knees. But this is my life, and I must somehow find a way to come to terms with my weakness and self-hatred for getting in this position.
I still want to be a doctor but I have the whole medical system stacked up against me. People with GPA's as bad as mine find it difficult to do anything in life, let alone med school. I can safely say that Im probably the only one from my culture in such a pathetic situation, but I have accepted that I will fail my cultural and family expectations. The only thing that gives me hope is this idea (though I doubt its actually true) that there must be at least ONE other pre-med from my culture who has had a similar background but is now in med school. Most of us are brought up to be perfect and successful early on, but I am sure that i can't be the ONLY ONE who is on the opposite end of the scale, it just doesn't make rational sense.
Anyways I am done railing my fate and hating myself. Its not going to help me change, and I desperately need to because I do not want to spend the rest of my life as an underachiever - no matter if I am a doctor or not.
So at this point, realistically, what can be done? I am starting to retake the classes I failed, I will only be graduating in 2014 and I have about 40 or so credits left.
My list of goals as of today:
- Try to establish as high of a trend as I can with the credits I have remaining.
- Graduate in 2014 (2 years later than when I was supposed too) and get a job in research as a low- level tech or research assistant at some major hospital or pharma company.
- Continue taking classes till my GPA is above a 3.0 (I'm not exactly sure how many I would need)
- Try to score as high as I can on the MCAT
- If this all goes well, apply for an SMP.
Does this sound realistic?
As for my non-academic goals. I wanted to travel abroad and do public health research in third world countries. I had aspirations to apply for various prestigious grants and fellowships, but since I'm on academic probation I shouldn't aspire for things that great. I wanted to backpack Europe, travel to Asia and the Pacific, but sadly will not have time anymore to do all those things.
I guess I will shadow/volunteer at the nearest hospital where I can get a job. Continue doing research. I am open to suggestions because Im not really sure what else I can do at this point.