Should I go back?

[pbsupra90]

This is a long story but I will try to keep it brief. I graduated with a 3.2 ave and 3.4 science GPA from Stony Brook, many years ago. Had above average MCAT scores. I applied to American medical schools but was not accepted. I guess they saw an immature kid who was not ready, when I was interviewed. I had to settle for Greneda. I was an immature kid back then and not ready to go to a foreign country. This was back in 1989. St. Georges had two campuses and was very primitive. Just a few buildings. Dorms that looked like steel garages. Not even a lecture hall. The main campus was Grand Anse and it consisted of an old church(acted as lecture hall), shabby old hotel(acted as dorm), and an anatomy lab that was primitive. I felt like I was going to a fly by night school and it looked it, back then. Unfortunately, my immature mind was wrong. I see they have done a lot of building since then. The place looks nice. I regret leaving as I should have been a doctor. I am not a people person and would probably have thrived in path or radiology. My life has essentially been downhill since I left that school. I came back to a nice home/family but never really found a career. I did become a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but I really don't like working with people with mental health problems. My MCAT is quite old. I know SABA does not require an MCAT. I hated it down in Greneda back then. We had no water, electricity would go out, no place to get food, no Student Center, and I couldn't deal with the heat. I grew up too spoiled and could not adjust to the environment. I am used to water coming out of my shower when I turn it on. I hated it and left after 6 weeks. I never really gave the place a chance. I should have stayed, but I was NOT getting used to it. I am currently in between jobs and really don't see going back into Clinical Social Work. I am never married/no kids, mainly because I have never had a stable career. I am a bright guy, but have never handled stress well. When I am under a lot of stress I go into a panic and make impulsive decisions. Like leaving Greneda. What I saw back then as suffering, I see now as a great opportunity. . I have an overall GPA from Stony Brook of 3.2, with 3.4 in the sciences. My MCAT is old, from the 80's, but it was above average. Any advice as to what I should do?Should I take the MCAT over and go back to ST. George? Or apply to SABA? I am 51 but look could pass for 35-40. I guess not having kids, good genes, not to many responsibilities and having a lot of time to run, sleep and eat well has helped me to look young for my age. Is it too late?

[thxleave]

This is a long story but I will try to keep it brief. I graduated with a 3.2 ave and 3.4 science GPA from Stony Brook, many years ago. Had above average MCAT scores. I applied to American medical schools but was not accepted. I guess they saw an immature kid who was not ready, when I was interviewed. I had to settle for Greneda. I was an immature kid back then and not ready to go to a foreign country. This was back in 1989. St. Georges had two campuses and was very primitive. Just a few buildings. Dorms that looked like steel garages. Not even a lecture hall. The main campus was Grand Anse and it consisted of an old church(acted as lecture hall), shabby old hotel(acted as dorm), and an anatomy lab that was primitive. I felt like I was going to a fly by night school and it looked it, back then. Unfortunately, my immature mind was wrong. I see they have done a lot of building since then. The place looks nice. I regret leaving as I should have been a doctor. I am not a people person and would probably have thrived in path or radiology. My life has essentially been downhill since I left that school. I came back to a nice home/family but never really found a career. I did become a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but I really don't like working with people with mental health problems. My MCAT is quite old. I know SABA does not require an MCAT. I hated it down in Greneda back then. We had no water, electricity would go out, no place to get food, no Student Center, and I couldn't deal with the heat. I grew up too spoiled and could not adjust to the environment. I am used to water coming out of my shower when I turn it on. I hated it and left after 6 weeks. I never really gave the place a chance. I should have stayed, but I was NOT getting used to it. I am currently in between jobs and really don't see going back into Clinical Social Work. I am never married/no kids, mainly because I have never had a stable career. I am a bright guy, but have never handled stress well. When I am under a lot of stress I go into a panic and make impulsive decisions. Like leaving Greneda. What I saw back then as suffering, I see now as a great opportunity. . I have an overall GPA from Stony Brook of 3.2, with 3.4 in the sciences. My MCAT is old, from the 80's, but it was above average. Any advice as to what I should do?Should I take the MCAT over and go back to ST. George? Or apply to SABA? I am 51 but look could pass for 35-40. I guess not having kids, good genes, not to many responsibilities and having a lot of time to run, sleep and eat well has helped me to look young for my age. Is it too late?

That's really a decision you have to decide internally. You have to know that MCAT do expire for most schools, so you have to retake the MCAT for SGU. As for being anti-social in the medical field, that sounds kinda tough. It seems like all you do is talk to people as a doctor. Life is filled with regrets, but you can't really walk backwards.

At your age, you are probably looking at finishing your residency and starting your life as an attending at the age of 58. That's a little on the older side, and with the upcoming residency shortage you'll be against a lot of people. So IF you do decide to go to medical route, there is a chance you won't become a practicing doctor due to limitations.

Honestly, it sounds like you really have a midlife crisis and you should try to speak to a career counselor? How long have you been unemployed? Unemployment does crazy stuff to the mind, and make you think of stuff off the head. It could also be a midlife crisis type of issue. Honestly, FOR ME if I was in your situation I would just stick it through and try to find a job with what you have. Try volunteer at the homeless shelter or something to kill time. I had a gap year before I'm matriculating August 2012 and I was at the same place you were at.

A nervous wreck looking for a path in life. Helping others and talking to people during the process is such a great experience. Anyways I'm going on a tangent. Ultimately it's your choice, but I say don't do it.

[pbsupra90]

I have been unemployed for about a year and a half. Getting a job in my field obviously has been quite difficult. I guess when I interview, they see a person who is not great with people. And clinical social work is very people intensive. It's very sad. A good looking, intelligent guy who really never found his way. I have always had anxiety issues, and dealing with stress has been problematic. It has also affected me in my personal life. I have had many girlfriends, but never a long term relationship. Obviously I find relationships very stressful, and the women I am involved with pick that up. You are spot on... I am having a midlife crisis and regret more and more everyday leaving that school. I didn't realize the impact of my decision to leave at the time. I was young, immature, stupid and figured I could always go back and "things would just work out". They don't. I have had too much time to reflect over the past year and a half. I have been collecting unemployment and had to move back in with my parents. It is a miserable existence. What woke me up was a relationship with a very attractive and much younger woman. She was 33, had her own issues, but was desperately looking to get married and have children. After six weeks of dating she asked me to move in with her. I did not do it. Another decision I regret. I was working as a mental health clinician at Riker's Island, but had a sick sadist for a boss and we did not get along. I lost the job and a week later she asked me to move in. I did not tell her I lost my job, but if I had kept it I would have probably moved in with her. She also wanted kids, and at my age I really did not want to start with babies. 51 and unemployed is not exactly someone you want to have children with. The other problem was that I met her online and lied about my age. I told her I was 38 and she never suspected for a second I was older. Make a long story short, this supervisor would routinely make comments and created a hostile work environment. Co-workers agreed that he was a sick angry guy, but they dealt with him the best they could. I decided I could not take the stress anymore of working in a prison and left. I filed legal action against this guy for creating a hostile work environment. I got a good attorney and was given a settlement by the company for lost pay. Needless to say many people under his supervision have complained about him, but I was probably the first to take a legal action. This person was moved and was let go by the company. So I guess I was responsible for him losing his job. The point is....the field I am in tends to attract very messed up and miserable people to work with. It's funny how a "helping profession" attracts the most cold and emotionally messed up people. I just don't like the field. Dealing with mentally ill people and supervisor's with severe personality disorders. Most have them have been a very cold blooded bunch who couldn't care less if you get paid for your services for even get a lunch break. I know 55-56, would be a little late to start a residency. But I have no kids, no responsibilities and of course I would be going against a lot of younger people who have not been thru as much as I have. But isn't there a need for doctors? We do have an aging population. I was thinking physician's assistant as a possibility. But you essentially take the same courses. At as cross roads and just wondering what to do..... My life would have turned out very differently if I had stay in Greneda in 1989. I would have had a career I enjoyed, probably gotten married, had a few kids, probably gotten divorced. But at least I would be financially more secure and be on my own. My only saving grace is that I do come from an affluent area and my parents have helped me out. But I feel I never reached my potential and regret it. I have always been good in the sciences. Aced chem, bio, organic, but I don't have the concentration or memory that I used to have. I do plan to be around for another 30 years. I need to find something to do that I like.... Any input would be appreciated. Thanks...

[thxleave]

Yeah, I really recommend you see a career counselor, as that is somebody that will be best fit for you. As this sounds more of a interpersonal issue. Online is a pretty harsh place, and luckily I answered first. A lot of people here will be a lot more callous in their approach.

Going to medical school and becoming a doctor won't be a panacea to all the issues you have. If you feel your anxiety is a cause of your problems PLEASE see a psychiatrist as valueMD is not a place for such medical issues. It really sounds like you need one, and that's not bad. So yeah... I wish you the best of luck though!

[thxleave]

BTW: I'm in a long term relationship, and me pursuing medical path probably is going to hurt my chances of settling down and having the whole kids situation. Being away for 2-7 years probably might lead to us breaking up. The lady friend is more successful and already offered to pay for rent and my bills if I want to stay in the city and pursue something else. Just sometimes you know passion calls. I don't know if that helps, but just to let you know every choice has a sacrifice.

So yeah anyways, go seek professional help though if you feel your anxiety is affecting your professional and social life. I hope my little story helped out a bit.

[cardiomegaly]

I have been unemployed for about a year and a half. Getting a job in my field obviously has been quite difficult. I guess when I interview, they see a person who is not great with people. And clinical social work is very people intensive. It's very sad. A good looking, intelligent guy who really never found his way. I have always had anxiety issues, and dealing with stress has been problematic. It has also affected me in my personal life. I have had many girlfriends, but never a long term relationship. Obviously I find relationships very stressful, and the women I am involved with pick that up. You are spot on... I am having a midlife crisis and regret more and more everyday leaving that school. I didn't realize the impact of my decision to leave at the time. I was young, immature, stupid and figured I could always go back and "things would just work out". They don't. I have had too much time to reflect over the past year and a half. I have been collecting unemployment and had to move back in with my parents. It is a miserable existence. What woke me up was a relationship with a very attractive and much younger woman. She was 33, had her own issues, but was desperately looking to get married and have children. After six weeks of dating she asked me to move in with her. I did not do it. Another decision I regret. I was working as a mental health clinician at Riker's Island, but had a sick sadist for a boss and we did not get along. I lost the job and a week later she asked me to move in. I did not tell her I lost my job, but if I had kept it I would have probably moved in with her. She also wanted kids, and at my age I really did not want to start with babies. 51 and unemployed is not exactly someone you want to have children with. The other problem was that I met her online and lied about my age. I told her I was 38 and she never suspected for a second I was older. Make a long story short, this supervisor would routinely make comments and created a hostile work environment. Co-workers agreed that he was a sick angry guy, but they dealt with him the best they could. I decided I could not take the stress anymore of working in a prison and left. I filed legal action against this guy for creating a hostile work environment. I got a good attorney and was given a settlement by the company for lost pay. Needless to say many people under his supervision have complained about him, but I was probably the first to take a legal action. This person was moved and was let go by the company. So I guess I was responsible for him losing his job. The point is....the field I am in tends to attract very messed up and miserable people to work with. It's funny how a "helping profession" attracts the most cold and emotionally messed up people. I just don't like the field. Dealing with mentally ill people and supervisor's with severe personality disorders. Most have them have been a very cold blooded bunch who couldn't care less if you get paid for your services for even get a lunch break. I know 55-56, would be a little late to start a residency. But I have no kids, no responsibilities and of course I would be going against a lot of younger people who have not been thru as much as I have. But isn't there a need for doctors? We do have an aging population. I was thinking physician's assistant as a possibility. But you essentially take the same courses. At as cross roads and just wondering what to do..... My life would have turned out very differently if I had stay in Greneda in 1989. I would have had a career I enjoyed, probably gotten married, had a few kids, probably gotten divorced. But at least I would be financially more secure and be on my own. My only saving grace is that I do come from an affluent area and my parents have helped me out. But I feel I never reached my potential and regret it. I have always been good in the sciences. Aced chem, bio, organic, but I don't have the concentration or memory that I used to have. I do plan to be around for another 30 years. I need to find something to do that I like.... Any input would be appreciated. Thanks...

Medical school is a possibility but make sure this is something you truly want. The courseload and the USMLE exams are very challenging. They will take up alot of your time and you will lose alot of your sleep. Make sure this is something that deep in your heart you want. You have to be mentally prepared. Many of the Caribbean schools require you to take the MCAT which is another exhausting exam. If you can speak to a life coach or some professional to get some clarity before you make this decision. You should also consider PA school as well.
.

[pbsupra90]

You have a nice lady friend. You have a tough decision. To stay with someone and sacrifice a potential career. I have never had any woman offer to pay my bills to keep me. This girl wanted me to pay HER bills. She saw a good looking, bright guy from a wealthy area and assumed that I had my you know what together. As she got to know me better, she realized that was not the case. When I came clean and told her my age, and that I was not working, she saw there was not future. However, even after knowing my age and whole story she still wanted to meet my parents. She was the right girl for me, but I had to move in. She felt the relationship was not going anywhere and left.These are issues I am going to have with any woman. The anxiety comes from my present circumstances. Age, living with parents, not working. If my circumstances were better i.e. employed and anxiety would lessen considerably. My social anxiety has lessened over the years, now it has to do more with what do I say about myself. But yes... I have always had excess anxiety and low self esteem. It has affected my ability to work and have relationships. However, if I had stayed in Grenada and finished school I would have had better self esteem. My anxiety comes from the fact that I feel I have a lot to hide. And yes... I have seen psychiatrists and have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression. I am smart, but only hurt me and holds me back. Other people don't think so much, they just take action. Any job in life is stressful. But there was a time when I was more clear headed, could study and ace organic or any other science class. Med school is not a panacea. But I do need a goal. My anxiety can be managed with medication. When I was in Greneda back in 1989, my roommate was taking something to help him cope. And I don't like lying to girls. But if I was totally honest I never would have met this person. I have not met any woman who is willing to support a guy. I think you have a keeper. But it's a tough decision that only you can make. And leaving her for 2-7 years will probably end the relationship. Curious how old you are?

[cardiomegaly]

Im not a traditional student at all but I still have a looooong time before I reach 51. Most of the students are younger than me but that doesnt bother me at all. I see you are having issues with a romantic relationship. Before applying to medical school resolve those issues because it can affect you work.

[pbsupra90]

Anything worthwhile is going to be tough. PA school is a possibility, but that's also quite competitive to get into. It's also 35 hours of class time per week and you take the same courses. In my early 40's I tried an accelerated nursing program at Drexel in Philly. Big mistake. 4 years of nursing school crammed into 11 months. It was brutal. Half the class dropped out. Plus being called nurse does not help my self-esteem. Ross offered me a position in my early 40's. Should have taken it. I just never really knew what I wanted to do. I have never really liked doing anything. I have the brains, just lost the motivation and drive over the years. But everybody tells me I am smart, and this relationship was a wake up call. I know that if my life was settled she could have been my wife.She was smart, beautiful, kind and generous. My dream girl....and I have been the same since I lost her. She has since found someone else. . She is very pretty, could pass for a model, so she meet men everywhere she goes. She just is a little flaky, so guy want to have fun with her, but don't want to settle down with her. I honestly don't ever see myself getting married. A woman gets married to have children. You need to be in some kind of stable career for that. Working as a mental health clinician at Riker's was extremely stressful. And I had a sociopath for a supervisor. And the pay was a lousy $28 per hour. I just feel, that if I do a job that make me proud(obviously clinical social work doesn't) I would dedicate myself to it. Getting a residency might be a problem. But I am a young 51. I look it, act it, and feel it. I run about 6 miles a day. That's why I get these woman who are almost two decade younger than me. But you need to have something to offer to keep them. I don't have that now. It's funny I left Geneda in 1989, but it doesn't seem that long ago. I should have stayed, adjusted and possibly decelled. I just hated the whole place back then. There was nothing....just a few buildings...no recreation.. and cows and crabs in the streets. I obviously don't deal with change and discomfort very well. But should have suffered in the short term for the long term gain. I see things so much differently now. I have grown up a lot. Just wish I could go into a time machine and go back.

[pbsupra90]

You are correct. I have not gotten over this girl. And she lives 10 minutes away from me! I will never see her again, and under better circumstances she could have been my wife. It is very difficult for me to live with this.But I was not ready for her program. Maybe this going to another country is a way to get away from her and the memories. She has since found another guy and he has moved in. She was not looking for a doctor. Just an average joe, with a stable job to settle down with her and have babies. Not too many guys my age can get very hot 33 year old Latin'a girls, but I have 25 year old coming up to me. So I lie about my age to at least have a little fun. I don't know.... I hate the field I am in. Not sure if I could concentrate do all the studying necessary. Also being older than everybody I am going to feel out of place. It might be a disaster. But I am not getting a job in my field anytime soon.