dealing with anxiety and depression while in medical school

[familydoc2b]

I was wondering if any medical student on this forum ever experienced severe depression/anxiety before or during med school and how you dealt with it. I finally came to the understanding and out of denial that i have extreme anxiety/depression.

I always seem pesimistic, tight muscles, choked up, cry for no reason, extremely indicessive (cant ever make up my mind with anything and when i do i always feel like i mad the wrong choice , in everything i do, even buying clothes or trivial stuff), always feel drained and tired , feel like i cant concentrate and focus (almost as if i have ADD), always feel agitated, trouble sleeping, overthinking and always worrying about stuff to the point that i dwell on it and it takes over my day, over react emotionally over small things, unable to stop worrying and thinking about stuff when i should be focusing in class), hard to wake up and feel drained when i wake up and dizzy.

These are some of the symptoms i experienced. i feel stupid for feeling like this and actually mad that i have this disease. I was the type of person that thought that depression/anxiety is all in your head, and its a weakness. but the disease actually got worse year by year ever since undergrad, in the beginning i just thought it was having a bad day or college stress, but after i graduated it continued and got worse, and i couldnt snap out of my condition, i would stress so much that i couldnt work or when i would find i job i would think its the wrong decision and feel sufficated and that i needed to get out of it asap. its hard to explain this to anyone, my parents dont understand and i feel too drained to explain it becuase it almost seems impossible to describe how dibilitating and handicapping this disease is unless you experience it, even i who used to think those who seek pyschitric help were weak minded am shocked on how controlling this disease is, it made me waste two years of my life not able to work and overthinking and worrying about stuff, its just hard to explain.
I know medicine is the only thing i want to do ever since i was a kid and the only field i can se emyself in, i am currently finally seeking treatment for my illness, i was extremely reluctant to start due to the fact of the stigma(sounds dumb but its hard to seek help or acknowledge this problem when your caught into it, its like a dark cloud over your head controlling your life), i also was scared that the depression/anxiety being on my medical record will result in future discrimination against me when it comes to starting medical school/residency, working, malpractice insurance, etc..., other reasons were that i didnt have the money to seek the help that this disease my cost and i knew applying for health insurance after my diagnoses will just increase my health care insurance premiems and the most important reason is that i was worried that the side effects of the meds will make me even worse esp when it came to my studies because i heard it can have extreme side effects such as loss of memory, always sleepy and getting tired, etc....

anyhow i been on treatment for two weeks, so far it sucks, its getting worse for i think my doctor is trying drugs on me as a trial and error thing, so far he tryed zoloft 50mg which made me extremely sick and worse (tremor, sleep, loss of memory,etc...), and now he is trying paxil 20 mg which isnt really doing much, my doctor doesnt seem to be the greatest, but he agreed to treat me for free knowing my financial condition. i want to start med school next year for i am sick of wasting my life, and it only makes me worse seeing myife lose days and precious years. I am wondering if anyone is suffering or suffered from a similiar condition before or during medicall school, how it effected your studies, what treatment did you take and how long did it take to get better, whether the meds negatively effected your studies or your ability to focus and study effectively. i would also like to hear from med students with similar stories, how they went about treating their problem, what the best med/treatment they think worked for them, whether i am able to pursue my goal with this disease( i am sacared the anxiety will come again during my med school years and cause me to get panic attacks and more depression that i have to drop up and lose all the money i will lose with tution) Please message me in PM or post here to help me with my issue and give me advice, opinions, etc...

I appreciate your time and posts so much.

[DoctorJ]

It's only normal if you get anxious and depressed during med school for various reasons. I have experienced it but not to a point where I needed to go see a doctor. And I also had a very good support system where I had friends/family to talk to...etc.

This doesn't just happen to us IMGs but also AMGs too. A good friend of mine got so stressed out and depressed that he took one year off from school and went to seek help.

He's sees his psych MD every week now and he's doing fine. Will graduate this May and start his residency in Psych.

[dr_dre]

A friend of mine has been through a similar experience (she was not a med. student).

Conventional medicine did not help very much, but with the help of a therapist, she joined a support group, tried spiritual means, and most important (according to her), was sports. She went to the gym, and worked out regularly. I was amazed to see her go from what she was going through to a totally different and happy person in almost no time.

Try these...and good luck.

[JellyBean]

Hi

Sorry to hear about your situation. Don't give up on your dream becasue of it though. I have a few physician friends with depression who manage their condition with meds and/or therapy, and practice successfully. Admitting something is going on, and seeking help with it is a big part the battle. You're to be congratulated for getting there!

Have you and your doctor discussed possibly trying venlafaxine (effexor XR) instead? It's a selective serotonin / norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor (SNRI) which works a lot better for some people than SSRIs (such as paxil) do.

Also, consider taking a look at some of the books Dr. Kay Redfield Jamieson has written- she's a psychologist with bipolar disorder (manic depression) who has done an amazing job of combining her perspectives as a clinician and as a patient in her writing. She's very candid about things like danger signs, how she's managed to cope, and treatments that are out there.

Good luck to you, and best wishes.

JellyBean