Anyone else leaving wife/husband behind?

[SMU_Basic]

Hey everyone, i just wanted to know if anyone else is leaving a loved one in the states while pursueing medical school? Give me a shout, we should support each other in these times as i have heard it can be emotionally difficult. thanks

[fightintxaggie98]

Hi,
I came here alone for the first ten months before I basically threw in the towel and told the hubby to get his backside down here. Not the wisest move financially, but I think it was best for getting me through the process. I hope that things go well for you here. Let me know if you need support or anything. I can understand your situation, even if I'm no longer in it myself.
Best of luck,
-ang

[doctordkm]

I am leaving my Fiance in the states for at least from September to May and then I think he will be joining me. It will be hard, but if your spouse is supportive and has as much interest in your success as you do, it will help and give you motivation to pass your classes and get your butt back in the states.
Dionne

[Chi]

Hello Dionne,
I too am leaving someone very dear to pursue a career in MEDICINE. I am praying he will be understanding and supportive. It is hard enough to leave someone who means so much and not being w/them is emotionally challenging.
What is the island all about and how did you FEEL and SUSTAIN your FOCUS ON STUDIES knowing it's all about MAKING YOUR DREAM TO BE A DOCTOR COME TRUE.
Please any suggestions would be uplifting.
Thanks
Darlene

[justdoit]

Hi everyone. I too am leaving a loved one behind.:( As a matter of fact I will be newly married prior to coming down by myself. I can't offer any advice because this will be a new experience for me, but I am definitely willing to support others in the same boat while I'm down there. I plan on flying home after each semester. This will be the longest we've every been apart. I'm banking on the fact that we've been together for a long time and we've weathered storms before. I believe it's doable depending on how strongly bonded the two of you are.....not to mention any problems you maybe having.

I would not feel very comfortable if I we're leaving someone behind that I had only been dating for a short period of time. I believe situations like that are probably more vulnerable. I agree.......we need to stick together and support one another. I should be coming down in January!

We could start a support group called SOS....the "significant others support" group. :D

[doctordkm]

I definetely think that we are not alone and should be a support system for each other once we get down there. I will be starting this September. My Fiance is trying to finish up his masters and second undergrad degree but keeps hinting that he may not be able to last any longer than one semester before he moves down there with me. I want him to do what he needs to do though, just as I am doing what I need to do. I have been blessed with a very supportive and flexible partner who is willing to follow me where I have to go while I am in school and during residency. It will be hard, but I think that we all know that it is worth it and we will have extra incentive to work our butts off. My fiance told me that he's not coming to visit unless I get good grades ;). Hey, that's all the motivation I need :p
Dionne

[justdoit]

Yeah we're kind of in the same boat. He has too good of a job here at home with NASA....we agreed it would be best for us both in the long run if he stays. Plus we have two babies....our dog and cat and I wouldn't drag them down here for nothing. Plus there's a lot of other factors involved our nice house, my car that I don't won't to give up while I'm gone.....(I know it's usually the other way around, doctor first than car, I couldn't pass up a good deal). It's great that your partner is supportive and flexible.....he'll have to be because there's so many unpredictable bumps on the road we're about to travel.

I guess you're all set to go down to the rock. Do you have a place to live yet? Where will you be coming from?

[BelleStarr]

There are support groups on the island for spouses etc that travel with their doctor to be, but I have yet to find any resources for SO's staying behind. So, if you start a group for support of people w/o their mate on the island, you might think of setting your SO's up with contact with each other back in the states. While those of us left behind have plenty to keep us busy (jobs, children, pets, family), we too will find it a bumpy ride while you are gone. It would be nice to have contact with the others "left behind". It would make it easier to find creative ways to keep supporting you froma distance. Just a thought.

**

:-kissey

[Dru]

The Family Forum is just what you need. It was originally set up for:

"Support groups for spouses, partners, parents, and other family members of medical students and graduates".

PLEASE use it, cuz I think it would be great. Not only will you be subjecting yourselves to the possibility of gaining support from Rossie families, but you will also get ideas and input from other Carib school s/o's.

See: http://www.valuemd.com/forum54.html

[emhgee]

Im leaving my snow behind.. Where is my support group???

[justdoit]

The Family Forum is just what you need. It was originally set up for:

"Support groups for spouses, partners, parents, and other family members of medical students and graduates".

PLEASE use it, cuz I think it would be great. Not only will you be subjecting yourselves to the possibility of gaining support from Rossie families, but you will also get ideas and input from other Carib school s/o's.

See: http://www.valuemd.com/forum54.html

I definitely agree with this....my SO is already a member, although he's not on nearly as much as myself. I'm sure that will change when I get down there. I encourage everyone to persuade there SO's to become members here on valuemd. If you want to stay in touch with your SO on a regular basis that's also cheap you can always buy one of the internet phone software packages. That's what I plan on doing....and flying back in between semesters. Most SO's back home will have a support system....their family and friends. I'm sure lots of people get home sick even those without a SO. They'll be missing their friends and family. I say the sooner you make friends with some of your classmates the better. Can't wait to meet everyone in January! :D

[BelleStarr]

I definitely agree with this....my SO is already a member, although he's not on nearly as much as myself. I'm sure that will change when I get down there. I encourage everyone to persuade there SO's to become members here on valuemd. If you want to stay in touch with your SO on a regular basis that's also cheap you can always buy one of the internet phone software packages. That's what I plan on doing....and flying back in between semesters. Most SO's back home will have a support system....their family and friends. I'm sure lots of people get home sick even those without a SO. They'll be missing their friends and family. I say the sooner you make friends with some of your classmates the better. Can't wait to meet everyone in January! :D


I hear alot of talk about internet phone, but I have yet to hear anyone mention the use of programs such as Yahoo Messenger or MSN, AOL etc. I know these programs work with just about any internet service. Will they work from Dominica? I know Yahoo has the ability to have voice and web cam. I believe MSN does as well. It would be essentially free (cost of internet access). While it may be slow and sometimes unreliable, from what I have gathered so is phone service from Dominica. If nothing else its another option to add to the ways to stay in contact.

**

[justdoit]

Unfortunately I'm not a big fan of instant messaging, so I don't have much experience with it. I know you can type back and forth to each other in the little pop up boxes, but I'm unsure if you can actually talk to one another? However, perhaps someone else could share with us how this could be used as another option for keeping in touch with our loved ones. Great idea **!

[doctordkm]

There are support groups on the island for spouses etc that travel with their doctor to be, but I have yet to find any resources for SO's staying behind. So, if you start a group for support of people w/o their mate on the island, you might think of setting your SO's up with contact with each other back in the states. While those of us left behind have plenty to keep us busy (jobs, children, pets, family), we too will find it a bumpy ride while you are gone. It would be nice to have contact with the others "left behind". It would make it easier to find creative ways to keep supporting you froma distance. Just a thought.

**

:-kissey

I think that my Fiance would love to talk to other significant others who have been left behind in the states. I would love feedback from others and maybe they can exchange email addresses or something
Dionne

[stateofequilibrium]

hmmm.. where can I find a wife to leave behind? :(

[justdoit]

hmmm.. where can I find a wife to leave behind? :(

SOE = real man of genius

You slay me, haha.....consider yourself lucky!
:violin:

[doctordkm]

Okay people, help me out here! If my Fiancé does come down to Dominica to be with me, what would he do while I am in class or studying? :confused: Do the spouses get jobs down there (I hope) and if so, where??? If anyone can shed some light on this subject, I would be eternally grateful!!!
Dionne

[Dru]

The visa laws of the Commonwealth of Dominica will prevent your spouse from working in their communities. The most you can expect will be a job with the Ross campus in the bookstore or school.

[Havelock]

Check out www.skype.com it is great for communicating back to the states with loved ones for free if they have internet. Just need headset with microphone attached.

[atldrtobe]

It is very difficult. In January i'll leave my one year old daughter, two and a half year old son and my husband to pursue my dream of being a doctor. My mother inlaw and sister will help my husband with the kids while i'm gone. Lately i've been crying a lot without letting anyone know. My husband has been very supportive but i can't ask him to give up his job and move there with me for sixteen months. I'm hoping my faith in God will see me thru cos i am really hurting already.

[arabicmedicine]

It is very difficult. In January i'll leave my one year old daughter, two and a half year old son and my husband to pursue my dream of being a doctor. My mother inlaw and sister will help my husband with the kids while i'm gone. Lately i've been crying a lot without letting anyone know. My husband has been very supportive but i can't ask him to give up his job and move there with me for sixteen months. I'm hoping my faith in God will see me thru cos i am really hurting already.

I am happy that your leaning on God. I also am leaving a family behind. Ask the Holy spirit to comfort you! He opend the door because He wants you to take advantage of your talents. Do not focus on the negative as their are a lot of those to focus on. Just remember, it is only 16 months to a better life and a lifetime of fullfillment. God Bless

We should keep in touch.

[Maricar82]

my fiancee will be visiting me during 2nd semester and he is a big basketball and gym nut, will he be able to use the facilities at the school or do I have to get him a guest pass or something?

[justdoit]

It is very difficult. In January i'll leave my one year old daughter, two and a half year old son and my husband to pursue my dream of being a doctor. My mother inlaw and sister will help my husband with the kids while i'm gone. Lately i've been crying a lot without letting anyone know. My husband has been very supportive but i can't ask him to give up his job and move there with me for sixteen months. I'm hoping my faith in God will see me thru cos i am really hurting already.

atdrtobe I know exactly how you feel! I just got married this month and I have to leave my love behind for the same reasons. We must keep the faith that everything is going to work out just fine. I'm excited and sad all at the same time. But we can do this! I will be starting in January also. Where will you be coming from? You can PM me if you would like.

[HaitianSensation]

Congrats on your marriage, just think of going to Ross as an investment that will better you and your spouse. See you in Dominica, have a safe trip. Take care.

[FRNC]

I'll take flak for this but.......

When children under 18 are involved all bets are off. Your primary focus should be concentrated on their care and well being. Either take them with you along with your spouse or stay home and raise them. Follow your dream after your primary responsiblity to your children is over. You can attend a caribbean medical school at just about any age but you only have one opportunity to be the primary care giver for your own children. We live in a disposable society but think this decision thru thoroughly before tossing the opportunity to care for and nurture your own children. My 2 cents.

FRNC

[homerbrave]

I'll take flak for this but.......

When children under 18 are involved all bets are off. Your primary focus should be concentrated on their care and well being. Either take them with you along with your spouse or stay home and raise them. Follow your dream after your primary responsiblity to your children is over. You can attend a caribbean medical school at just about any age but you only have one opportunity to be the primary care giver for your own children. We live in a disposable society but think this decision thru thoroughly before tossing the opportunity to care for and nurture your own children. My 2 cents.

FRNC

I totally agree. These days, folks are often selfish and only think of themselves and pursuing their 'dream' instead of taking proper care of their children. And then 15 years down the road these same people wonder why their children turn out to be thugs and social deviants.

[justdoit]

I personally wouldn't be doing this if I had children....but people do it. I don't know how but they do.

You can attend a caribbean medical school at just about any age but you only have one opportunity to be the primary care giver for your own children. We live in a disposable society but think this decision thru thoroughly before tossing the opportunity to care for and nurture your own children. My 2 cents.


I know what you mean FRNC. It seems like having children is an after thought....that's why I haven't had any yet despite my age....first things first and if it doesn't work out it doesn't work out.