Mungoose
09-10-2009, 07:44 PM
Sorry, this is kind of off-topic but since med school is my goal, I decided to post this here.
Hi, my name is Yuriy, and I need some advice on some things... basically to try and clear my mentality of all the negativity I have in my head.
When I was 17 and in high school, I did really awful there, and so, dropped out after taking the GED. At that time I had no idea who I wanted to be and so did a big mistake. As a hobby, I liked to do 3D modeling, and because I wasn't so great at it, I decided to go to the New York Film Academy to learn 3D Animation.
I don't come from a wealthy family at all, so I had to take out a loan for this school on my mother's name, which cost us about $32,000 for one year (The school was only one year and only taught the basics). Again, HUGE mistake on my part. As I was getting closer to graduation, I thought that I could really get a job doing 3D, but I was wrong. After graduation, because of the interest rates on the loan, the loan doubled, putting myself and my family in huge debt.
Suddenly there were great expectations of me from my entire family after this school, and it really put me down mentally. After that, I spent about 2-3 years setting up a demo Reel, and the worst thing happened, I lost all my data because my hard-drive fried. I worked for about 3 months after that as a teacher assistant for 3D, and a busboy at a restaurant, trying to earn up some cash to help me parents with the loan. Nothing was really going my way except for an incredible amount of stress, and I hate to say it, depression as well. I couldn't even get myself up, and get a normal job because of this.
Now that I am 21, I really want to try hard at turning my life around and put what happened in the past, aside. I want to become a doctor, and specialize in Pathology. For the first time in my life, I feel as if I found out who I want to become in life and know that I have a very long road ahead of me, schooling wise, to become a doctor. My family supports me anyway they can. I try to think positive and tell my parents to trust me this time, I have changed and want a different life than I had in the past couple of years.
I am starting at a community college this week, and this will be the first time I will be starting school in a long while, and I believe that I will do much much better than I ever did in high school. Only problem is, mentally, I keep asking myself the question... "What If?". This kind of hurts my confidence and makes me worry a lot. This makes me always think, "Could I really pull of medical school?", or, "What if I don't get accepted, or don't do well enough to get accepted into medical school, I will not have a back up plan for a future this way". I know that by thinking this way, I will only hurt myself, but I am trying to stop thinking this way, and I don't know when its actually working.
Even though I think negatively like this, no matter how hard the path to becoming a doctor will be for me, I am willing to take it, and disciplining my mentality for it. I spoke to my cousin who just got accepted to med school about this, and he told me, "don't think this way, and believe me, you will do fine in med school. You just need to ALWAYS think positive and be confident about it". That is a sign of relief for me, but still the negativity strikes back. How can I help myself mentally, so I can always think positive, so that I do get accepted into med school, and become a doctor, and not worry, or stress, feel anxiety, or whatever, when I am still so far behind of applying to med school.
This has been stuck in me for a long time and I finally let it out. I do apologize for such a long essay lol and hope that at least someone takes the time to read this and help me out anyway they can.
Thank you very much, Yuriy.
Hi, my name is Yuriy, and I need some advice on some things... basically to try and clear my mentality of all the negativity I have in my head.
When I was 17 and in high school, I did really awful there, and so, dropped out after taking the GED. At that time I had no idea who I wanted to be and so did a big mistake. As a hobby, I liked to do 3D modeling, and because I wasn't so great at it, I decided to go to the New York Film Academy to learn 3D Animation.
I don't come from a wealthy family at all, so I had to take out a loan for this school on my mother's name, which cost us about $32,000 for one year (The school was only one year and only taught the basics). Again, HUGE mistake on my part. As I was getting closer to graduation, I thought that I could really get a job doing 3D, but I was wrong. After graduation, because of the interest rates on the loan, the loan doubled, putting myself and my family in huge debt.
Suddenly there were great expectations of me from my entire family after this school, and it really put me down mentally. After that, I spent about 2-3 years setting up a demo Reel, and the worst thing happened, I lost all my data because my hard-drive fried. I worked for about 3 months after that as a teacher assistant for 3D, and a busboy at a restaurant, trying to earn up some cash to help me parents with the loan. Nothing was really going my way except for an incredible amount of stress, and I hate to say it, depression as well. I couldn't even get myself up, and get a normal job because of this.
Now that I am 21, I really want to try hard at turning my life around and put what happened in the past, aside. I want to become a doctor, and specialize in Pathology. For the first time in my life, I feel as if I found out who I want to become in life and know that I have a very long road ahead of me, schooling wise, to become a doctor. My family supports me anyway they can. I try to think positive and tell my parents to trust me this time, I have changed and want a different life than I had in the past couple of years.
I am starting at a community college this week, and this will be the first time I will be starting school in a long while, and I believe that I will do much much better than I ever did in high school. Only problem is, mentally, I keep asking myself the question... "What If?". This kind of hurts my confidence and makes me worry a lot. This makes me always think, "Could I really pull of medical school?", or, "What if I don't get accepted, or don't do well enough to get accepted into medical school, I will not have a back up plan for a future this way". I know that by thinking this way, I will only hurt myself, but I am trying to stop thinking this way, and I don't know when its actually working.
Even though I think negatively like this, no matter how hard the path to becoming a doctor will be for me, I am willing to take it, and disciplining my mentality for it. I spoke to my cousin who just got accepted to med school about this, and he told me, "don't think this way, and believe me, you will do fine in med school. You just need to ALWAYS think positive and be confident about it". That is a sign of relief for me, but still the negativity strikes back. How can I help myself mentally, so I can always think positive, so that I do get accepted into med school, and become a doctor, and not worry, or stress, feel anxiety, or whatever, when I am still so far behind of applying to med school.
This has been stuck in me for a long time and I finally let it out. I do apologize for such a long essay lol and hope that at least someone takes the time to read this and help me out anyway they can.
Thank you very much, Yuriy.