In order to address the concerns of students at the island medical school (AUC), NETstar has taken the unprecedented step of hiring many of the top St. Maarten public school graduates to improve overall company performance. These outstanding new-hires will undergo a rigorous 6-hour training period, including a customary 2-hour lunch break, to join the ranks of some of NETstar's top IT specialists. With the help of their new specialists, NETstar is confident that they will be able to reach speeds consistently approaching a 56Kbps dial-up connection.
Pictured below is the class towards the end of their grueling boot-camp style indoctrination to all things internet. The top NETstar representative, Ms. C, has spent countless hours putting this board together, which includes everything they must know to provide the unique brand of service which NETstar is known for. After studying this board, the new IT specialists will be familiar with the "highway analogy" of bandwidth; useful for explaining the intricacies of network performance to medical school students, who are likely not used to this level of performance back home. Made simple, the "highway analogy" explains that if there are too many cars on the highway, things obviously become congested and slow down. And, since highways are made of rock, and rock clearly does not grow, the highway could never be made larger to accommodate more traffic.
Also included in this class is a thorough indoctrination to customer service. In these most important 15 minutes, the new specialists will learn that "fixing broken equipment" is not simply a repair, but an "upgrade." After all, working equipment is obviously an upgrade from broken equipment.
NETstar is extremely proud of one particular new-hire, who will likely raise NETstar support standards to an unprecedented new level. This gentleman has been training for a career with NETstar since he entered the first grade. After strenuous ear-stretching exercises every morning, he is now able to hold a phone hands-free, and without the assistance of a cumbersome bluetooth headset. He will be the first NETstar representative that can answer calls while leaving both hands free for such important tasks as thumbing through catalogs of used server equipment, circa 1995, for new equipment to upgrade the AUC intranet. According to logic, the older the equipment, the more experience people have had with it and the less chance of frustrating issues with new, poorly understood technology.
Picture Credits: Photographer Doctor Monkey, who graciously volunteered to attend the training events and without whom this article would not be possible.
05-18-2008, 12:44 PM
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