"Hello - I'm planning to transfer into the 3rd semester at AUC for Jan 2006, is there anyone I can write to that has a spouse that is still in the states due to work, school, etc...? How difficult is it? Thanks"

My husband is there as a 1st semester and I am here in California. He has only been gone for a month, but it seems like a year. I would be there now, but I didn't want to miss my little brother's wedding (the twerp had BETTER be grateful!!!!). I will be flying out in a couple of weeks.

I try really hard not to give advice, but since you are asking:

I don't suggest separations. There are too many distractions on the island (I was there for a week in June), too many opportunities to do things 'no one else will know' for the spouse on the island and the spouse back at home. And even if you are faithful to the end, there is a lot of chance for suspicions when you aren't home for the phone call or you don't return the email fast enough.

Also, I can't imagine what would be more important than supporting your spouse in their goals. Is it your house? Sell it or rent it out - homes are replaceable, but despite what popular culture tells you, your spouse is not. Is it a job? Take a leave of absence and enroll in some online classes to keep your marketablity good. Is it family? I am sure if they want to see you bad enough they will come visit. Is it your kids? Take them - it will be an adventure and they will benefit from the security of knowing that nothing in the world can separate their parents.

Another thing to consider is that medical school is not only the 20 months on St Maarten. There are clinicals too, and you really don't know where you will be. After that is residency - where will that take you? I have decided that my career is going to have to take a back seat to my husband's - that's what marraige is about - it's about doing what's best for your spouse, even when it isn't necessarily conducive to your own goals and dreams. Sacrifice is hard, but I can tell you there is no better feeling in the world than knowing a.) I have done the right thing, b.)my husband loves me to death because he knows I will follow him literally to the ends of the earth, and c.) I gave the most important thing in my life - my marraige - my very best. That is the most rewarding thing anyone can do.

I hope this helps.


Sarah